Stranded in Central
by LongliveA.Monk
Summary: Central headquartes is in lockdown. How will Mustang and his crew survive! Parings-HavocXFuery, RoyXRiza, ScarXLust, and EdXEnvy.
1. Chapter 1Let's start off with Twister

My first fanfic!! (Does happy dance) I don't care if you flame it but please….it is my first try at a fanfic so be nice please. But if you catch a spelling or grammar mistake, point it out please. I'm stupid so I most likely won't notice. Kthnksbi

A few notes: Central headquarters has these dorm rooms in case of an extended lockdown. Why? Because I said so.

**WARNING! Yaoi, OCCness, A.N's for commentary purposes (yeah, I comment on my own stories. Got a problem with that?) and sometimes it won't make any sense whatsoever. **

_Disclaimer- I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or IHOP or the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company. I own nothing. Pity me._

**Stranded in Central**

It started out as a normal day, until Colonel Roy Mustang's crew was called into his office. Warrant Officer Vato Falman and Second Lieutenant Heymans Breda were missing from the group, as they were out on an assignment

"Everyone, I've just received an important message from the Fuher;" the Flame Alchemist said, "Scar has been spotted in the area. A team of troops is searching for him but everyone else is in lockdown. Yes, this includes us. No one is allowed to leave this building. Are we clear?"

"Yes sir." The team replied in unison.

"Good. Now, until we get any notice…" Roy grinned and pulled out a cardboard box with colored dots on it. "Anyone up for Twister?"

_Sometime later_

"Ok, right hand blue." First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye called out.

Roy, Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc and Sergeant Major Kain Fuery looked as though they were in extreme pain, and all were secretly wishing they had volunteered to be the spinner like Hawkeye had.

"Owww," Roy whined as he stretched his arm in a way no human should ever attempt (Seriously, never take Twister lightly. It can hurt you, badly). "I bet it isn't even right hand blue. You're doing this just to see me in pain aren't you Lieutenant?!"

Riza held up the board. "No I'm not. Don't disobey the board."

Havoc and Fuery shifted their positions as well. Fuery immediately regretted trying to play the game in a crab walk position, as now, Havoc was right on top of him. Oh yeah, you know what I mean.

Havoc smirked. "A little too close for comfort, huh?" he said.

"Uhh…umm..." Fuery blushed.

Roy whistled. "Call out another one Lieutenant!"

"Alright, left foot green."

Havoc was even closer now. Fuery gulped and his face turned even redder.

"Heh, he really is cute when he blushes," Havoc thought. "If only these two weren't around I'd tell him how I really felt about him."

"Don't show any signs that you like him," Fuery thought. "It will only end in heart break."

All of a sudden Roy fell. "OW! Guess I lose…" He turned to look at his subordinates who were in quite an awkward position. He grinned and thought "At least now I get to watch the Havoc and Fuery show." (A.N: Airing this fall on NBC! =D)

Roy got up and stood next to Riza. "Right hand yellow." She called out.

"Oh this'll be good!" Roy thought as he rubbed his hands together.

The two Twister players were now so close to each other they could feel each other's breath.

"He likes GIRLS! There's no chance!" Fuery thought. "He's also my best friend! But…I really like him…"

"Aw screw it;" Havoc thought. "I'll kiss him right here. Who cares what the others think?"

All of a sudden, Fuery fell. "Ow!"

"You win Havoc." Riza said. "Can we do something mature now?"

"Aw man!" Roy said and Havoc thought.

And so, Havoc won, and yet, he also lost.


	2. Chapter 2Daydreams

People actually read this?! Whoa, cool!

Just so you know-I will be using Japanese honorifics from time to time and throw in a few phrases now and then as well. So here's a few translations-Taisa: Colonel. –san: Mr., Miss. or Mrs. 

_Disclaimer-If you think I created Fullmetal Alchemist you are greatly mistaken._

Chapter 2-Day dreams

When you have a secret crush on someone, it's not exactly helpful if you work in the same office space. It also doesn't help if the person you like is your best friend. And it really doesn't help if you're both suddenly thrown into lockdown. This was Lieutenant Jean Havoc's problem. He and Sergeant Major Kain Fuery shared an office. Because of the lockdown there wasn't much to do so Mustang's crew decided to finish their paperwork. But Havoc could hardly concentrate. He glanced up from his paper every so often to look at Fuery. Even just looking at him made his heart beat faster. He sighed, a little too loudly.

"Havoc-san, is everything alright?" Fuery asked.

What Havoc said was "Yeah, I'm fine." What Havoc thought was "Throw him on that desk and mount him like a lion…" (Quote from Scrubs; I just replaced her with him and gurney with desk.)

That was when Havoc couldn't stand it anyone.

He stood up, "No actually I'm not fine!" he walked over and put his hands firmly on Fuery's desk. "I wanna play another game…"

"Uhh, ok..." Fuery replied nervously. "Should I call Taisa and Lieutenant Hawkeye in?"

"Oh no no," said Havoc. "This is a game for two people. Here's how it works: I kiss you, you kiss me, and the loser is the one who breaks it off first. Bonus points if one of us uses our tongue."

"Wh…What?!"

"You heard me sergeant!" Havoc grabbed Fuery and pushed him out of his chair, down to the floor. "You have gotten to first base before haven't you?"

"Bu...But this is so sudden! I have no clue what's going on!"

"I like you, that's all you need to know." Havoc said. "So, are you game or not?"

"I…like you too," Fuery said, 'Ok...I'm game…"

Both soldiers closed their eyes and moved closer…but instead of feeling Fuery's lips on his, Havoc felt someone slap him on the back of the head.

"Wake up," He heard Riza's voice say. "You still have a lot of paperwork to finish."

"Huh, wha?" Havoc blinked his eyes groggily. He had fallen asleep at his desk.

"It was all just a dream, huh?" Havoc thought as he sighed. "I thought it was too good to be true…"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX (This means change of scene right?)

When you have a secret crush on someone, it's not exactly helpful if you work in the same office space. It also doesn't help if the person you like is your best friend. And it really doesn't help if you're both suddenly thrown into lockdown. (A.N.-Heeeyyy, déjà vu…) This was Sergeant Kain Fuery's problem. He and Lieutenant Jean Havoc shared an office. Because of the lockdown there wasn't much to do so Mustang's crew decided to finish their paperwork. But Fuery could hardly concentrate. He glanced up from his paper every so often to look at Havoc. Even just looking at him made his heart beat faster. (A.N.-Seriously; what's going on with this déjà vu?!!) He needed to get out of the office. He made up an excuse about getting more coffee and hurried quickly out. Once he was outside he breathed out deeply.

"This is getting ridiculous," He said to himself. "I can't avoid him forever…"

Fuery heard the door open behind him and turned around to see Havoc walking out. Havoc had a strange look on his face: he looked angry yet determined, and yet nervous; all at the same time.

"Uhh, Havoc-san, are you feeling ok?" Fuery asked.

Havoc walked up to him and slammed his hand into the wall, just inches away from Fuery's head. (A.N. For _Fruits Basket _fans, think of the scene in chapter 19 (episode 13) with Kyo and Tohru)

"Havoc-san!" Fuery shouted. "What ARE you doing?!"

Havoc said nothing, he just stared at him. Finally, he let out a deep breath. "I'm not always good with telling other people how I feel…and I know this is sudden but…look, I like you ok?"

Fuery smiled, "I...I like you too."

All of a sudden the voice of God rang out! "Fuery, those papers won't sign themselves."

It didn't take long for Fuery to realize that is was not the voice of God but in fact Riza. And he was not in the hallway; he was still in his office. He'd only been daydreaming.

"Right, ma'am," Fuery replied. "I'm on it."

As Riza left, Fuery glanced at Havoc who was rubbing the back of his head. Both men sighed.

And so, both men's secret crushes will remain secret…for now. And Riza is the voice of God apparently.

For those of you who have not had the pleasure of watching English subtitled episodes of Fullmetal Alchemist 2 (It is epically awesome! 3) here's a link to a website I discovered:

?/Fullmetal-Alchemist-2/

Romi Paku and Rie Kugimiya are still Ed and Al's seiyuus (voice actors) 3 3 3; but a lot of the cast has new seiyuus. As much as I LOVED Toru Okawa, Roy's new seiyuu, Shinichiro Miki's voice is HAWT. I hope that when it's licensed for the English dub Vic, Aaron and Travis still do the voices! *crosses fingers, toes, legs, arms, and eyes.*


	3. Chapter 3Roomies

And now we turn our attention from Havoc and Fuery to Roy and Riza.

_Disclaimer: I do not own FMA. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar. _

Chapter 3-Roomies

Roy had called his subordinates into his office for yet another announcement.

"I've just been informed that there are only two dorm rooms available; the lockdown has caused overcrowding." Roy smirked evilly. "So Hawkeye, unfortunately you'll have to bunk with one of us guys."

Havoc and Fuery rolled their eyes at each other as if to say, "Does he actually think she'll pick him?"

Nearly everyone in Central knew Roy Mustang had a crush on Riza Hawkeye. Except Riza.

Riza glared at him. "Fine, I'll bunk with Fuery."

Roy almost jumped. "What?!"

Havoc and Fuery looked shocked as well. They always thought Riza had a crush on Roy.

Roy tried to compose himself as he asked, "Ok, ok, fine, fine…Fuery are you alright with sleeping with…I mean…bunking with Riza?"

"Yes sir, I'm fine with it."

"Good, good, than it's all settled. Havoc and I will bunk together."

"YEAH!" said Havoc, pumping his fist into the air. "It'll be just like college all over again! Keg party in our room later! Woo!"

Roy dismissed telling Havoc that keg parties in the dorms were illegal unless the Fuher was invited, and instead turned his attention back to Riza.

"Ah Lieutenant Hawkeye, forgive me for prying but I must ask; why Sergeant Fuery?"

"Because I TRUST him." Riza replied.

The colonel turned paler than a sheet of paper covered in glue and dipped in bleach. "…what?" He asked in barely a whisper.

"Ohh! Diss!" Laughed Havoc. A.N.-Here we see the effects of cabin fever on Havoc: He reverts to a frat boy.

"Uh Lieutenant Havoc," Fuery said. "That means she doesn't trust you either."

Havoc blinked. Two seconds later it hit him. "WHAT?! Why not?!"

"Yeah, why can't I be trusted either?!" Roy asked accusingly.

"Well with Havoc in frat boy mode I don't think I could trust him." Riza said. "Remember what he was like in college?"

Havoc nodded. 'She's right. I wouldn't trust my younger self either."

"But Lieutenant Hawkeye why not me?!" Roy asked, almost desperately. "After all we've been through?"

Havoc and Fuery rolled their eyes at each other again as if to say, "Oh shut up, you just want to peek at her while she's undressing."

Roy glared at them "I saw that."

"No offense Taisa," Riza said. "But the reason I chose Fuery over you was personality differences"

"Personality?" Roy asked, confused.

"Yes," she replied. "Sergeant Fuery is the type of person who wouldn't be bothered by the fact that he's sharing a room with someone of the opposite sex. He's the type of person who blushes and turns away when a lady is undressing instead of ogling at her."

Fuery nodded "She's right."

"And I'm not?!" Roy asked.

"Well, no."

Roy turned white again. "Ok…well now that that's all settled…meeting adjourned."

Riza looked concerned. "Taisa, I hope I didn't offend you…"

"NO! No no no!" Roy said. "Not at all. Really, I'm fine. It's your own decision; I shouldn't have pried the reason. But you're right; I cannot be trusted. Oh before I forget; you and Fuery have room 2B; Havoc, you and I have 4I. See you all later."

Everyone left the office.

"Did it look like he was going to cry?" Fuery asked Havoc.

"A little bit."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Riza breathed a sigh of relief. "Good think I thought up that explanation quick."

The real reason she didn't want to share a room with Roy was because she really did have a crush on him. But…she was against getting involved in an office romance.

And so, secret crushes must remain secret…for now (Whoa; more déjà vu.)


	4. Chapter 4When a sin calls

Hi again everyone! I don't think the link in Chapter 2 worked. The website is called Revolution Anime. Also, Funimation is showing the subtitled episodes as well. And can anyone help me out: How can I prolong the life of my stories? The site says they live for only 60 days.

Fair warning, this chapter may get slightly random and/or silly. I wrote it while I was sugar high on Easter candy.

_Disclaimer: If I created FMA, cell phones would exist in the FMA universe. Since there are no cell phones in the FMA universe, clearly I did not create the series._

Chapter 4- When a sin calls

The military had recently been issued a brand new piece of technology: Cellular phones. They were extremely helpful for soldiers who were always on the road. All the soldiers loved their phones, filling it with the phone numbers of pretty women/men they'd met while traveling. Edward Elric felt differently. The only people on his contact list were the Rockbell's Automail Shop and Roy's office phone. He called Winry occasionally to catch up and see how she was. That was the only thing he liked about his phone. He hated calling Colonel Mustang to tell him, once again, another mission to find the Philosophers Stone had ended in failure.

"AGAIN Fullmetal?"

"Yeah, yeah; go on, yell at me."

"I would but I'm worried for your health."

"What are you talking about?"

"I've heard that using your phone too much leads to growth dysfunction and I wouldn't want become shorter than you already are."

Ed usually hung up after that.

Today he was tossing and catching his phone as he lay on the bed in his dorm. The lockdown showed no signs of ending for a while and he was bored. His brother Alphonse was amusing himself by playing chess with the other soldiers.

Just as he caught his phone for the 20th time it rang. He noticed the number calling was unfamiliar. Puzzled, he answered it. "Hello?"

"Well HELLO Chibi-san. How are you today?"

Ed recognized the voice immediately.

"ENVY?! What the…?! How did you get my number?!"

"That's not important right now. What is important is what you're wearing…"

"Don't avoid the question! Seriously, how'd you get my number?!"

"I have my sources."

"Where are you?"

"That's a secret."

"Tell me. Are you in the building? Are you watching me?" Ed opened the curtains of his dorm but saw no one outside.

"What's wrong Chibi-san? Are you scared that **the call is coming from inside the house?" **Envy said in a creepy voice.

"Don't mess with me!" Ed said as he checked under his bed. "AND STOP CALLIN' ME CHIBI!! Where are you?!"

He heard Envy laugh over the phone. "Awww, you're so cute when you're angry. If you really must know I'm in my own room at my own home."

"Which is where?"

"Ah ah ah, I'll never tell." Ed could almost hear Envy smirking over the phone.

"Why the hell are you calling me anyway? Trying to convince me to make the Philosophers Stone again? I won't do it. I'll never do it."

"I already told you why I'm calling: I want to know what you're wearing."

Ed felt his face become hot. "Whaaaaat?! You sicko! Don't ever call me again ya weirdo!" (1) He hung up. He shook his head. "How did he get my number anyway?"

Meanwhile, at the secret hideout of the Homunculi, Envy was laughing his head off. Then he stopped. "How did I get his number anyway?"

And so, Ed found out Envy has a crush on him and Envy has no idea how he got Ed's number. Truth be told, neither do I. 0.o It's stiiiilll a myssssteryyyyy. (Quote form SpongeBob)

Yes, Ed knows exactly what he's talking about. He learned about sex from overhearing military officers. He blames them for corrupting his mind.


	5. Chapter 5 The mighty hunter

**Attention: If anyone thinks that I should change the rating to M, please tell me. **

**When I wrote I was sugar high on Easter candy….at midnight…on a Friday. So this chapter may be very weird and/or disturbing. **

_Disclaimer: Trust me on this; I do not own FMA. I would know if I did….I think…_

Chapter 5- The mighty hunter

Ever since he had read a book on wolves, Jean Havoc thought of himself as a wolf. He was loyal to those in higher ranks, he liked being in a group and howled whenever he was very happy about something. He also liked to hunt. Not animals, but another kind of prey: potential mates. Unfortunately his hunts normally ended in failure thanks to the alpha male (Mustang) stealing his prey 48% of the time. But this time he was confident his hunt would be successful; he was going after a prey that Mustang wasn't interested in, for once. The prey was Kain Fuery.

Havoc thought of Fuery as a rabbit; he was quiet, gentle and shy. He loved that personality type. The type that was easily flustered and blushed often. He thought it was absolutely adorable. But Havoc wasn't sure if Fuery liked his personality type as a potential lover. He knew they were the best of friends but could Fuery look at him as a boyfriend?

XxxxXxxxX

Havoc was in the hallway enjoying a cigarette as Fuery walked by with an armload of papers.

"Need any help with that?" Havoc asked.

"I'm fine, thanks." Fuery replied.

As he walked off Havoc felt his inner wolf emerging. "What are you standing around for?" he asked himself. "Go after him."

Havoc grinned the way a cat grins when it sees a mouse. He put out his cigarette and starting to quietly sneak up on Fuery, slightly crouching. "Today I'll catch that rabbit…today the wolf will be victorious…"

Havoc began to recite the book he read in his mind, inserting his own lines: "Here we see the Havoc wolf stalking his prey, a Fuery rabbit. The Havoc wolf slowly approaches his prey, taking precaution not to startle him…"

Fuery stopped and turned around. Havoc quickly hid behind a wall. Fuery shook his head, "Nah, no one." and continued walking.

"The Havoc wolf must make sure that they prey does not see him. Not yet, not in public. The wolf and rabbit must be alone for the hunt to be successful. And what is the wolf's plan of attack? To follow the prey until he is alone in a private place. Then, he shall strike!! He will confess his love to the rabbit and claim his lips."

Havoc continued to follow Fuery until finally he dropped off the papers and headed back to his office.

"Ah ha! The Havoc wolf sees his chance and prepares himself."

As soon as Fuery entered the room, Havoc quickened his pace and raised his arms, his hands curled like claws.

"He sees his opportunity and strikes!"

But before he could do anything he heard Roy's voice behind him; "Hey, you guys ready to eat?"

Havoc quickly dropped his arms and spun around. "OH HAI!" (1)

Roy blinked. "Um, what were you doing?"

"Nothing! I uh…was just…stretching!"

Fuery also turned around. "Lieutenant Havoc, when did you get here?"

"Uhh…a few minutes ago."

"Do you guys want to get dinner or not?" Roy asked.

"Yes sir, I'm coming." Fuery replied.

"Same." Havoc said. "Looks like the Havoc wolf didn't catch his prey," he thought. "He'll have to settle for actual food, for now."

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

Kain Fuery thought he was going crazy. He was convinced that someone had been following him while he was delivering papers but when he'd turned around there was no one there. Then at dinner he thought that Jean Havoc had a particularly hungry look in his eyes. But he wasn't looking at the food; He was looking at _him. _He even saw him lick his lips. Finally, as he passed Havoc while dropping off his plate, he thought he heard him growl. "Either I'm going crazy," he mused. "Or this place is turning into a jungle."

(1) LOLCAT SPEEK!!1!!

By the way, this is not a reference to cannibalism. Wolf and rabbit is code for seme and uke.

Question: Was this chapter good or did I go to out of character? Also, how do I prolong the lives of my stories?! The site says they only live for 60 days but I've seen fan fiction that's lasted for years. Help me please!!!


	6. Chapter 6Goodnight

Sorry about the wait! Not only have I been busy with studying for my A.P. exam, I've had the accursed writers block! More powerful than swine flu! My apologies if someone you know has/had swine flu and my joke offended you.

_Disclaimer: I own a pair of purple Converse sneakers, a turquoise The North Face jacket, and a Harajuku Lovers bag. But I do not own FMA. _

Chapter 6-Goodnight

Before Mustang and his team realized it, night had come. The gang was in the lounge reading different books/newspapers.

"I'm turning in early." Riza said while rising from her chair.

"I think I will too." Fuery said while rubbing his eyes.

"Good night Colonel, Lieutenant." Riza said.

"Good night Colonel, Havoc-san." Fuery said.

"Good night." Roy said.

After they left Roy turned to Havoc.

"I can't believe they're tired already," He said. "I haven't gone to bed this early since I was 8!"

Havoc was dozing in his chair.

"Havoc?"

"What? Is it morning? Did Santa come?" Havoc said drowsily, half opening his eyes.

"Yes, Santa came. He brought you a puppy. But don't eat it."

"Very funny." Havoc said, sarcastically. "You know I was just kidding when I said that right?"

Roy looked away.

"I'm serious! I don't frickin' eat dogs!!"

"Ok ok I believe you." Roy said. "You fell asleep? At this hour?"

"Guess so," Havoc said as he stood up. "I might as well go to bed too. Goodnight Roy."

"Goodnight Jean."

"Room 4I right?"

"Bingo."

"4I? Bingo! I won!" Havoc was still half asleep as he walked out the door.

"Just like at sleepovers, Roy Mustang is the last to fall asleep! Yeah!" Roy pumped a fist into the air.

Silence filed the air.

Roy sighed. "And just like at sleepovers, Roy Mustang has no one to talk to so he might as well go to sleep."

XxxxxXxxxxX

Meanwhile, in Room 2B, both Fuery and Riza looked away while the other undressed. As the two were getting into their beds, Fuery said. "You know Lieutenant Hawkeye; I think you should give Havoc and the Colonel a little more credit."

"I guess you're right; she replied "Havoc wouldn't be too bad of a roommate but Colonel….it would just be awkward." Her cheeks turned a slight pink.

"Awkward? But you and the Colonel are friends right?"

"Right," Riza's cheeks turned even pinker. "I suppose it shouldn't be awkward between friends. Like between you and Havoc."

"Uhh, right…" Riza didn't notice Fuery blush. "Sharing a room with Havoc-san," He thought. "It's hard enough sharing an office."

"Right." Riza continued. "As for the Colonel and I…It's just that, well, it's complicated. Could we not discuss it?"

"Alright." Fuery said. "So she does like the Colonel." He thought. "A few people own me money…" he laid his head on the pillow. "Goodnight Lieutenant."

"Goodnight Sergeant."

XxxxxXxxxxX

Edward Elric was just about to get into bed when his phone rang.

"Nii-san, did you forget to turn your phone off again?" Al said groggily.

"Yeah, sorry for waking you." Ed replied. "Who could be calling me at this hour?" He checked the number. "Oh no! Not again!" He answered it. "Envy; what do want now?!"

"I just wanted to say good night Chibi-san."

"That's it?! You just wanted to say good night?!"

"Aren't you gonna say good night to me?"

"Will you hang up if I do?"

"Yes!"

"….Good night Envy."

Goodnight Chibi-san. I hope you have sweet dreams tonight. I know I will be having very sweet dreams about you…"

"……….Call me again and I'm gonna strangle you using your hair." Ed hung up and shut his phone off.

"Who was that?" Al asked.

"It's better if you don't ask. Goodnight Al."

"Goodnight Nii-san." (1)

I forgot, does Al sleep? Well, in this story he does.

Meh; this one's kinda dull. You can flame it if you want. I would, and it's my own story.


	7. Chapter 7Get a room!

It's been a while since I updated. I went to Washington C.D on a band and chorus trip. It was awesome and gave me a lot of ideas for new fanfics! But I will still work on this one.

I have no idea where the plot of this chapter came from. Random things pop into my mind all the time…..Snowflake…rainbow…orange juice…=D

_Disclaimer-If I owned FMA the characters would have access to the Harry Potter books, movies and other media. As you most likely know they do not have access to the Harry Potter franchise. Don't you pity them?_

Chapter 7- Get a room!

**The next morning**

Havoc had somehow managed to get out of bed, dressed and walk into the dining hall. Two seconds later he fell asleep on the table.

"Havoc, if you're not going to eat your bacon, snore once." Roy said.

Havoc snored.

"Thank you very much…"

As he reached for Havoc's plate Riza walked by and slapped him on the hand.

"Didn't your mother teach you not to steal anyone's food?"

"I'm not stealing it! He said I could have it! Havoc, defend me. Snore once if you said I could eat your bacon."

Silence.

"Havoc?"

*Snore*

"You see?!"

Riza sat down across from Roy and Havoc and shook her head. "I'll be watching you."

"Aw come on, don't you trust me? Oh right; you don't." Roy said sounding insulted. He turned his head away.

"Taisa, I can explain…"

Roy crossed his arms. "Ok, start explaining."

"Well the thing is, I can't really explain…"

"Why not?"

"It's a secret."

Roy started at her. "Wait…are you and Fuery… involved?"

"No! Not at all!"

"Ok," Roy said, then smirked. "So are you currently involved with anyone?"

Riza frowned. "That's personal Taisa."

"Come on, you can tell me."

"I'm not going to tell you anything. I'm not saying I'm involved with anyone and I'm not going to say I'm not involved with anyone."

"You tease…" Roy said, still smirking.

Riza glared at him.

"Ok, let's just say that you're not involved with anyone right now. And if you're not, are you interested in dating someone?"

"Not at the moment."

"What about one date, huh?"

"With who exactly?"

"Oh I don't know…someone you work with...someone you are close with…someone you admire…"

"Like who?" (1)

"Oi; get a room will ya'?" Havoc, who was awoken by their arguing, mumbled.

After Havoc had been hit on the head by each of them, he stumbled out into the hallway feeling as though he'd collapse any minute.

"Damn insomnia," he grumbled. "If it weren't for Fuery I'd be able to sleep at night…every time I close my eyes all I see is his cute face."

His eyelids felt as though there were weights on them. "Maybe I'll fall asleep right here." As if on cue Fuery's face appeared before his eyes.

"Havoc-san are you ok?"

"Now he's talking to me," Havoc thought smiling.

"Havoc-san are you ok?! Can you hear me?!"

Havoc realized that he awake and Fuery was actually standing right in front of him. He looked very concerned. Havoc also realized that he was lying on the floor.

"Huh? Oh yeah I'm fine."

"No you're not," Fuery frowned. "I just saw you pass out. Come on, I'm taking you to the infirmary."

"I'm fine really, it's just insomnia.'

"It seems pretty serious if you ask me," Fuery bent down and tried to lift Havoc up.

"I can stand." Havoc said as he tried to get up. He started to get up but immediately felt weak. "Maybe not.' He feel back down, taking Fuery with him. Think back to chapter 1, but now Fuery is on top (1)

Havoc laughed nervously. "Eh heh heh, whoops."

Fuery only blushed.

"Oi, get a room will ya'?" Roy said in a mocking matter as he walked by.

The two quickly parted. Havoc got up and brushed himself off. "See? I'm fine. If you're really concerned I'll go to the infirmary."

"I'll come with you." Fuery held his hand. "I want to make sure you don't pass out again."

Havoc felt his heart beat. "He's holding my hand!" He thought.

Fuery felt his face become hot. "What am I doing? He probably thinks this is weird, holding hands. He's not letting go though…"

"His skin is so soft; he has such a delicate hand. I wonder if the rest of his skin is this soft." (2)

"Our hands fit so perfectly together, like a puzzle. But do we fit together, as a couple?"

The infirmary was only 5 minutes away from where Havoc had fallen, but it felt like an eternity to walk there.

"Uh, thank you for helping me." Havoc said, turning his head away so Fuery wouldn't see his cheeks turning an interesting shade of magenta.

"No problem." Fuery said, looking down so havoc wouldn't his face turning scarlet.

They hadn't let go of each other's hands.

"Oi; get a room will ya'?!" They heard the voice of Edward Elric say. He was standing next to them, rolling his eyes. (4)

Both let go, and said goodbye.

Havoc sighed as he lay on the infirmary cot. "I still see his face…and I still feel his hand on mine…"

XxxxxxXxxxxX

Hmm, this one ended on a sad note. I should stop watching sad AMVs.

Moral-Riza and Roy should get a room and so should Havoc and Fuery. Not the same room of course, which would be weird.

This is some interesting flirting.

I'll never allow it; he's the perfect uke and that's all he's meant to be!

Naughty naughty Havoc! ^_0 Unless I'm the only one thinking that sort of thing…

Ed has noticed that they've been acting strange around each other. He figured it out. If only those two would…


	8. Chapter 8Voice automail

My last chapter ended on a sad note. Now let's get back to funny!

I have no excuse this time. No hyperness or candy caused this. I am just a random person.

_Disclaimer: You know the deal. _

Chapter –Voice auto-mail (1)

It was quiet in the hallways of Central headquarters.

Too quiet.

Suddenly the angry voice of Edward Elric rang out.

"NO ENVY!! IF YOU BIT YOUR TOUNGE I WOULD NOT KISS IT TO MAKE IT BETTER!!!!! NOW STOP CALLING ME!!!"

Ed was tempted to transmute his phone but decided against it.

"I just won't answer it," He thought. "He'll give up eventually. Right?"

XxxxxXxxxxX

"Nii-san, you have a call coming in." Al said. His conversation with Winry had been interrupted.

Ed quickly looked at the number. "It's Envy, ignore it."

"That's the 3rd time today. Why does he keep calling you?"

"You don't want to know."

"Please tell me. Is he threatening you?"

"No….he's hitting on me."

"….what?"

"I tried to warn you."

XxxxxXxxxxX

After lunch, as Ed headed back to his dorm room he checked his voice mail.

*You have **12** new messages*

"WHAT?!"

*1st voice message*

"Chibi-san, don't tell me you're ignoring me! How mean!"

Beep

*Message erased. 2nd voice message*

"I know you're there Fullmetal shortie. You can't ignore me forever!"

"Wanna bet?" Ed said.

Beep

*Message erased. 3rd voice message*

"So that's how you're gonna play this huh? Fine, ignore me. I'm not giving up so easily."

Beep

*Message erased. 4th voice message*

"Hey chibi, I don't know why but I just thought of handcuffs. What are your thoughts on handcuffs? Call me!"

"Yeah, like I'm gonna do that." Ed rolled his eyes.

Beep

*Message erased. 5th voice message.*

"I like chocolate parfaits, do you?"

"Yes. Wait, why am I talking to my voice mail?!"

"Someday I hope to share a chocolate parfait with you…"

Beep

*Message erased. 6th voice message.*

"I love blondes. They have more fun! Your hair is sexy. I like long haired shorties. It looks so soft and silky. I want to run my fingers through it. What kind of shampoo do you use? I bet it smells good too." (2)

Beep

*Message erased. 7th voice message*

"Your eyes remind me of a golden sunset. I could look into them forever."

Beep

*Message erased. 8th voice message*

*Singing* "When I get you all alone, I'm gonna take off all your clothes…"

BEEP!

*Message erased. 9th voice message*

"I almost forgot! I had a dream about you last night! You and I…"

Beep

*Message erased. 10th voice message*

"I have a feeling that you erased my previous message didn't you? It wasn't a naughty dream! I'm not that much of a pervert! In the dream we were sharing an ice cream cone and walking on a beach in sunset. You had some ice cream on your face and I liked it off. Now does that sound so dirty?"

"Yes"

Beep

*Message erased 11th voice message*

"I really like you. I mean that. I want to have an actual relationship with you. Just give me a chance."

"He actually sounds sincere…"

Ed hesitated before pressing 7.

"It's probably a trick."

Beep

*Message erased. 12th voice message*

"Ok ok, I understand, Shrimp. You're never going to answer my calls…"

"FINally he gets it!"

"So I guess I'll have to come visit you in person!"

"Wait…what?"

"Hello Edward," a chilling, familiar voice said behind him. "It's been a while…"

TO BE CONTINUED!

It's a pun! =D

Did I make Envy too much of a creeper? O.o


	9. Chapter 9A visit from the Palmtree

_Disclaimer-I don't own this series, and I can't afford to buy it. Not that I would; Hiromu does a FANTABULOUS job with it!!_

Chapter 9– A visit from the Palmtree.

SPOLIERS FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN'T SEEN THE ENTIRE FIRST SERIES!

Continued from the last chapter. 

"Hello Edward," a chilling, familiar voice said behind him. "It's been a while…"

Ed jumped and spun around, his hands in his trademark clapping position. "Envy!"

Envy grinned and opened his arms wide as if expecting a hug. "Chibi!"

"I'M NOT A CHIBI!!!" Ed shouted.

"Does this mean I don't get a hug?"

"Of course not!! What are you doing here?!"

"There's nothing to do at home. I got bored. And it's been so long since I've seen you." He put his arms down and stepped towards Ed. "You're even cuter than I remembered."

A slight blush began to show on Ed's cheeks. He moved back a step. "How did you get in here?"

"I turned into a fly and flew in a crack in the window."

"What do you want? A fight?"

"No, I don't want to fight."

"Then what? What do you want?"

Envy grinned in a sly way. "Isn't it obvious? I want _you_."

Ed sighed in an annoyed way. "Do you never give up?"

"Not when I want something badly." Envy moved his face close up to Ed's. "And you have no idea how badly I want you to be mine."

"Don't come any closer!" Ed warned, preparing to clap his hands together. He backed away.

Envy just grinned and skipped closer.

Ed backed away again.

He skipped again.

He backed away again.

Skip.

Back away.

Skip.

Back away.

Envy giggled. "This is fun! But enough fooling around; I will catch you."

Ed half grinned. "Yeah, right. You're not even trying."

"Oh I think I'm doing a pretty good job." He skipped forward once more.

Ed backed up and felt something against his back. He hadn't noticed that Envy had backed him into a corner.

"Dammit."

Envy chuckled. "Gotcha."

Ed frowned. 'I can still fight you."

"Or," Envy said. "You could accept my invitation for a date. What do you say to dinner and a show?"

"No way in hell."

"It's just one date, give me a chance. I'm a pretty nice guy once you get to know me."

"Yeah, a nice guy who tries to kill me and my brother."

Envy sighed. "I was NOT trying to kill you or your bother. I was just following orders. But I'm done with them now."

"I don't believe you." Ed said keeping his hands posed.

"Awww, Chibi don't be like that." Ed pouted.

"I JUST SAID I'M NOT A CHIBI!!!!!" Ed threw his hands up into the air and waved them around to get his point across. (1) Unfortunately by doing this he let his guard down.

Envy acted quickly. He grabbed Ed's wrists and pushed him up against the wall.

"Eh?!" Ed gawped in surprise.

Envy smirked. "Can't escape from me no-w…" he said in a sing-songy voice.

Ed felt his heart beat faster. He wanted to shove him away but his body felt as though it were frozen.

"Ah but we can't do this here." Envy said smiling. "Catch you later Chibiko." With that, he kissed him on the cheek and transformed into a fly. He flew away before Ed had time to recover.

Ed blinked.

"WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!!"

XxxxxXxxxxX

Envy had flown into the Furher's office (2).

"Hello Sloth, Pride." He said as he changed back into his usual form.

"Envy, what are you doing here?" Pride asked.

"I'm tired of hanging out at home. Say Pride, what dorm room is the Fullmetal Shorty staying in?"

After a quick check on the files Pride said "Room 1K."

"Thank you. Oh and Pride, is there any way you can get these two soldiers, I think their names are Havoc and Fuery, to dorm together?"

"Well, I suppose I could convince Colonel Mustang he's been upgraded to the higher-ups dorms. Then Lieutenant Hawkeye could have her own room and Sergeant Fuery and Lieutenant Havoc con bunk together. Though I have to ask, why?"

"I've been watching them for a while today and let's just say that it will make things around here a bit more interesting." Envy grinned in an evil manner. "See ya." He transformed again. Envy flew off and chuckled to himself. "Just wait till nighttime Edward. Then you'll be mine…"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

(1)Does it actually work? I don't know.

(2)Just in case you didn't notice, I'm using the characters from the 1st anime series.


	10. Chapter 10 Meanwhile

Gomenasai gomenasai gomenasaiiiiiii! (I turn into Ritsu Sohma when I apologize.) I've had final exams and preparing for graduation and prom so I've been busy. Plus my writers block returned.

I advertised ScarXLust so here it (finally) is!

_Disclaimer-If I owned FMA I would have A LOT of money. Right now I have about $10 in my wallet. You tell me if I own it. _

Chapter 10-Meanwhile…

Here's a basic summary of the story thus far: Central city is in lockdown because Scar has been spotted. Though he has only murdered State Alchemists the entire city is in lockdown just in case. Inside headquarters, there is a lot of drama happening. Havoc is in love Fuery but is afraid to admit his feelings for fear of being rejected; Fuery is too shy to tell Havoc how he feels; Roy flirts with Riza but doesn't think it will get him anywhere; Riza doesn't want to have a relationship with someone she works with but she is in love with Roy; Ed is freaked out by the fact that his enemy, Envy, has a crush on him and is now in the building; Envy wants to make Ed his boyfriend; and Al is blissfully unaware of everything.

Got that? 'Cuz I'm not repeating it.

Meanwhile, outside of headquarters…

Save for several soldiers scattered in different areas, the streets of Central City were empty.

Or so it seemed.

In fact, two people were watching them, taking great precaution to avoid being caught. It was Scar and Lust, who didn't want to cause trouble but somehow had caused the entire city to go into lockdown.

To make a long story short they were dating. Love makes people do crazy things. It makes people sing gushy love songs to the one they care about. It makes people distracted and spacey as they are constantly thinking about their special person. It makes them forget that they are wanted by the military and go out on a date in a restaurant in Central. Love is not only blind, it's also forgetful.

Scar was recognized by one of the waiters. A lot of screaming ensued and before the two lovers could escape from the city the soldiers had arrived. They'd managed to run off before the soldiers saw them and were now hiding in a dark alley along with a sleeping hobo.

"I can't say I'm sorry enough." Scar said through gritted teeth as he held Lust's hand. "It's my entire fault that we're in this stupid lockdown."

"I have blame to share too," Lust said. "I was the one who suggested going out to dinner in Central. I forgot you're wanted by the military."

"You'd think someone wouldn't forget something like that." Scar scratched the back of his head.

Lust smiled. "Well this is definitely one of the more exciting dates I've ever been on."

Scar frowned. "Exciting? I'm causing you nothing but trouble."

"You call this trouble?! Do you know the things I've done?" Lust said, looking straight into his eyes. "The pain I put people through? I've caused much more suffering than you have." She looked down, tears streaming down her eyes. "I hate myself. I'm a horrible person."

Scar put his hand on her cheek, wiping her tears away. "You aren't." he said softly. "A horrible person wouldn't feel guilty for their actions. They don't care about anyone else, only themselves. Look at you; you're crying for those people you hurt. You care about other people. I love that you are so caring."

Lust half smiled and chuckled. "What you love about me is what I love about you."

"Oi; Get a room, will 'ya?" the sleeping hobo mumbled.

Unlike Havoc and Fuery/Roy and Riza, they decided to listen to this piece of advice and sneak into a motel. Because you should always listen to the advice of hobos. They are quite smart. Then again, wouldn't it be smarter to try to escape first? Oh well. As I said; love makes people do crazy things.

To be continued…

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

Whoa; they are seriously out of character! I warned you that they would be in the first chapter. I wouldn't mind flames; I think I went too OOC.


	11. Chapter 11 Shower scene

**WARNING: This chapter is quite raunchy. **

_Disclaimer-I don't own a damn thing. _

Chapter 11-Shower scene

Fuery double checked the locker room to make sure he was alone and sighed with relief.

"I hate these public showers." He said as he unbuttoned his shirt. "It's like gym class in high school all over again. At least I'm the only one in here…"

Suddenly he heard the door open. In walked Havoc.

Fuery gulped. "Of all people, why him?!" He tried to sound casual and prayed that Havoc wouldn't notice how red his face was. However he couldn't stop himself from stuttering. "He…he…hello Havoc-san. G…g…good to s…see you're fff...feeling better."

"Yeah. The infirmary bed is actually more comfortable than the dorm beds." Havoc said as he sat down. He didn't seem to notice his stuttering as he had just woken up. "I may pretend I'm sick so I can sleep on it tonight. Thanks again for helping me. I owe you"

"You're welcome." Fuery had finished with his shirt was fumbling with the zipper of his pants. "Err, now that you mention it, there is something you could do for me…

"Of course! Anything!"

"Wo…would you mind turning around while I change? I'm really shy about my body and I don't feel comfortable changing in front of someone."

"I understand." Havoc said. "Do you want me to leave? I could shower another time."

"Ah, I don't want to kick you out!" Fuery raised his hands defensively. "But…if you really don't mind…"

"I don't mind at all." Havoc smiled. "I'll even guard the door."

"Really?! I can't thank you enough!" Fuery beamed.

Havoc saluted. "You can trust me sir!"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"You can't trust me; you can't trust me at all."

Havoc stood near the locker room door, leaning against the wall. He wanted to be a good body guard, a good friend even; but one part of his mind (the naughty part) was telling him to run in there, take Fuery in his arms, kiss him and see how far he'd get from there…

He shook his head frantically. "Ahhh! I shouldn't have thoughts like that!! I don't think about him that way! I've never pictured my first time going like that. (1) I love him but I've never thought about… Argh. I've got to shake these thoughts off."

"What thoughts?" Roy suddenly appeared in front of him.

Havoc nearly jumped. "Oh nothing, just talking to myself."

Roy shrugged and proceeded to open the locker room door.

Havoc held out his arm, blocking him. "You're not allowed in."

"Why not?"

"There's someone else in there."

Roy raised his eyebrow. "So?"

"So, this person doesn't want anyone else around. I'm guarding the door for him."

Roy started at the door. "What exactly is going on in there?"

Havoc frowned. "You pervert! It's nothing like that!...I think…"

Roy tried to push Havoc's arm down. "I'm your superior and I command you to let me through."

"I don't care if you're the Furher; no one gets in!" Havoc stayed put and pushed against Roy.

"Now I'm _really_ curious as to what is going on in there."

"He's just showering! He's shy about his body and doesn't want anyone to see him, ok?!"

Roy huffed. "Fine; I'll come back later."

Havoc grinned triumphantly. "Score one for Havoc!"

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

Fuery sighed happily as the warm water ran over his body.

"Havoc is a wonderful friend. So considerate."

"Admit it; you wanted him to stay, didn't you?" an evil voice whispered in his head. (2) "You're too shy to tell him what you really want. Call him back in. Rip off his clothes and kiss him, then see how far you get with him…"

"No no no!" Fuery shook his head and blushed. "I…I don't think about him that way! Besides; that's not how I picture my first time. (3)"

"But it would be nice, wouldn't it? Don't you want Havoc to be your first?"

Fuery felt his face grown hot, and not just from the water. "Wh…what a thought… I'm in love with him but….oh God!" he pressed his hands to his head. "It's too early to think about something like that!!! We haven't even been on a date!"

He put his hands down. "I won't listen to it. I'll take things at my own pace." With that, he continued with his shower.

XxxxxXxxxxxX

A few others came to the door and were also denied. But that wasn't Havoc's only problem. The "bad" thoughts kept coming back.

"You know you want to see him naked." A little voice in his head whispered (4). "Just go in there for a second and take a peak. He won't even notice…"

"NO! That's sick! I would never do that!" Havoc argued. "He'd never forgive me."

"Who wouldn't forgive you?" Fuery was now standing next to him.

"HELLO!" Havoc said out of surprise. "I'm just talking to myself. It's nothing."

"I want to thank you again," Fuery said. "You really are a great friend."

Havoc smiled. "It's nothing."

"Kiss him! Kiss him now!!" the voice said in both their heads.

Havoc clenched his fits. "Kain…"

"Y...yes?" Fuery shivered. Not only did Havoc address him by his first name at work (something soldiers hardly ever did, no matter how close they were), his face had turned frightening. He looked as though he was holding something back. Fuery felt his heat beat. "There's no way…" he thought. "This can't be happening."

"Kain, I…"

Suddenly, Roy appeared from around a corner.

"Good, you're both together. Listen; I was moved to a different dorm. Riza gets her own room so you too will be rooming together." He put his hand on the locker door hesitantly. "Can I go in now, oh Master of the showers?" he said to Havoc sarcastically.

"Yeah sure." Havoc said, not diverting his attention away from Fuery.

When Roy went in the two stood still for a moment.

"You wanted to say something?" Fuery asked.

"I…forgot what it was." Havoc sighed and turned to the wall. "Well I guess we're roommates now."

"As it would seem." Fuery looked at his shoes.

"I'll look away while you're changing."

"Thank you."

The stood still for another moment then walked their separate ways. When Havoc was out of sight, Fuery's knees buckled.

"What am I going to do?! What if I say his name in my sleep or something?! What if I blurt out "I love you!"?!"

Elsewhere, Havoc leaned sideways against a wall and put his fist to his forehead.

"What am I going to do? What if I say his name in my sleep or something? What if I blurt out "I love you!"?" (5)

Both sighed. "I'm going to be rejected, I know it."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Later Edward Elric walked out of the showers, a towel around his waist.

"Ah, that was nice."

"Thanks for the show, Chibi-san…" he heard a familiar voice say.

Ed looked around frantically. Then his cheeks turned red and a vein pulsed in his head.

"YOU PERVERT! GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I FIND YOU AND TRANSMUTE YOU INTO A FLEA AND SQUASH YOU!!!"

The voice chuckled. "You can try to get rid of me but I already told you; I don't give up so easily…"

XxxxxXxxxxxX

Too raunchy? If you think it is I'll change it.

(1)I believe that Havoc is a virgin: he has no luck whatsoever with woman so he probably hasn't gone past first base. Another reason is that he's waiting for "the one". Meanwhile I've never even been on a date so he's one up on me.

(2)Me!

(3)I think Fuery's a virgin too. He's really shy and innocent. I think he's the kind of guy that's waiting for "the one".

(4)Me again!

(5) It's the return of déjà vu!


	12. Chapter 12Weakness

For the last chapter: I didn't mean to say raunchy; there was another word I wanted to use but because I'm stupid I couldn't think of it. It was not raunchy at all; I've read waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy raunchier stuff. Hey, I'm 18! It's legal!

_Disclaimer- If I owned FMA, even if it was important for the plot and the driving source of Roy's actions for most of the story, Hughes would __**NOT**__ have died._

Chapter 12- Weakness

As he had been stranded in Central Headquarters for over 24 hours, Roy Mustang had miraculously run out of paperwork. Before the lockdown it seemed like the mountain of work would never end, but within a few hours he had finished it all. This would, however, present a bit of a problem.

You see, the Colonel only pretended to hate paperwork. Well, he did hate it but not as much as he claimed he did. In reality, he was thankful for it as it took his mind of a certain female lieutenant. Now, with no paperwork to distract his thoughts, all he could think of was Riza.

"She says she doesn't want to date anyone she works with but perhaps I can change her mind." Roy half smiled and ran his fingers through his hair. "I can change any woman's mind…" he froze. "Except hers. She doesn't fall victim to the "Mustang charm" (1). She's stronger than that. It's like she has some sort of shield that reflects my power over women! I'm useless!!!"

He tapped his pen on his desk incessantly. "I never have trouble asking women out. I never did. Why is this so difficult?"

Roy chuckled slightly. "What would all the other soldiers say if they saw their confident, strong, always-a-winner, colonel like this: Nervous, unsure, and powerless." He sighed. "She makes me weak. Yeah, that's it. I become weak whenever I try to flirt with her. It's like I've met my match in a war. Hmm, isn't that what Maes said love was?"

**About a minute later**

"That's exactly what it is!" Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes sounded excited over the phone. "Oh oh, and Elicia can be the flower girl! She'll look sooo cute! 3"

"I haven't even asked Riza out, Maes! Slow down!"

Maes was the only person who knew about Roy's feelings for Riza. They had discussed it for a while but lately the talks had become more serious.

"Well, what ARE you waiting for? With Gracia I didn't hesitate."

"Yes you did! It took you a month just to say hello to her!!"

"And only another two weeks to ask her out. And how long have you known Riza?"

"Ok, you have a point." Roy sighed. "I wish you were here."

"Me too, I want to help you. Who would think that on my day off the city would go into lockdown? But on the bright side I get to take lots of new pictures of Elicia! I can't wait to show every single one of them to you!!"

"….Joy." Roy's voice did not sound very joyful.

"Plus, if this lockdown keeps up Elicia may become a big sister if you know what I mean. ~"

"Glad to hear you're happy. Still, I could really use your advice. It's so ironic that you're not here when I really need you."

"Ironic… or a sign. A sign that you need to take matters into your own hands. Come on Roy! You are the Flame Alchemist! Don't tell me you're afraid!"

"I am not afraid!" Roy pounded his fist in his desk. "You're right! I'm going for it! Thank you for your help Maes! Talk to you later!"

"Bye." Maes hung up, Roy followed suit.

"I will not be weak! If it's true that I love her than I want her to be with me!"

The door opened.

"Taisa…"

"WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?!"

Edward Elric stood in the doorway with a mildly shocked expression on his face. "No." he simply said. "Besides, isn't pedophilia illegal?"

Roy's head collided with his desk.

"Hello Fullmetal." He mumbled; his voice muffled in the wood. He raised his head. "I thought you were someone else."

"I know," he grinned mischievously. "You thought I was Lieutenant Hawkeye, riiiiight?" He laughed. "You're so pathetic Colonel! You can have any woman you want except her. And you only want her. Ha! You're losing your touch. Or maybe you're becoming frail with old age."

Roy stood up and slowly put on one of his trademark gloves. "How would you like to know what it feels like to be a candle wick?"

In the blink of an eye, the short alchemist was gone.

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

Riza Hawkeye watched the clouds outside her window, attempting to free her thoughts of a certain male colonel. It wasn't working; she saw his face in the clouds. She sighed.

"I've never been one of those girls: The kind who swoons at the very sight of the man she likes. I never obsessed over a man. I'm stronger than that. I made it clear that I don't date coworkers. I used to be so focused on my career. Now, I can't stop thinking about him. I want nothing more than to be by his side. I'm reconsidering my own values. What happened to me?"

She half smiled. "What would my fellow soldiers think if they saw me like this? The serious, mature, always-on-top-of-things lieutenant now distracted, confused and acting like a teenage girl with her first crush. He makes me weak."

All of a sudden the door to her office flew open. There stood the Flame Alchemist, with a frighteningly serious look on his face.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye! I have something very important to ask you!"

"Yes sir?" she tried to act calm but she could feel her face become hot and her heartbeat speed up. "Could it be?" she thought.

"……………………………………. (2) Are you certain that there is no more paperwork left?"

"…….Yes, I'm sure."

"I see. Just checking. Sorry to disturb you."

"You didn't disturb me." She replied. "Stay." She thought

"Now if you'll excuse me I have to set a midget on fire."

"I'M NOT A MIDGET!" she heard Ed's voice in the distance.

"AH HA! So you went in that direction!" Roy ran off.

Riza was both confused and disappointed. "I thought for sure he was going to…no. he wouldn't. He would never…"

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

"Get back here Fullmetal!"

"GAAAAAAAHH!"

As Roy chased Ed through the halls, Envy surreptitiously watched.

"Hurt him and you'll die Mustang." He said through clenched teeth.

"TAKE IT BACK SHRIMP!"

"NO, AND DON'T CALL ME A SHRIMP!"

"Fine, you're not a shrimp: You're a BARBAQUED shrimp!!"

Havoc and Fuery heard the commotion through the walls of their office.

"Just another day I suppose."

"Yup."

XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Uh, has this become too much of a soap opera?

P.S. Roy never did catch Ed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

(1)Which is more than can be said for me and my friend.

(2)Ultra dramatic pause!


	13. Chapter 13Let the games begin!

_Disclaimer-I disclaim that I own this series. _

Chapter 13-Let the games begin! *Audience participation*

Dinner had been eaten, the sun had set; the day was over…but for Mustang's team, the fun was only beginning.

Fuery thought about his situation all through dinner. He could barely eat, he merely picked at his food.

"Sharing a room with him…I can't! I just can't!" he thought.

He and Havoc put their plates away at the same time.

"So…to our room, then?" Havoc said.

"Y…yeah." Fuery replied. "Our room!" he thought. "It's like we're in a relationship! Even though I know we're not…"

"How much I want to share a room with him!" Havoc thought. " I want to share my life with him…"

Suddenly Roy ran up to them, wrapped his arms around their necks and began to pull them backward.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?!" Havoc shouted.

"Kidnapping you." Roy said, matter-of-factly. "I'm not going to let you two go to sleep just yet."

"And why not?" Fuery asked while he struggled to break free.

"You'll see."

Havoc and Fuery did not like the sound of that. Whenever Roy suddenly pulled them away from whatever they were doing it meant he was planning something that would later lead to regret/embarrassment.

As he dragged them through the halls they passed Riza.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye! Help us!" The two kidnapped soldiers called out.

"Taisa, are you kidnapping two of your subordinates?"

"Yes and if you don't follow me I'll be forced to kidnap you too."

Riza shrugged. "Ok."

"Our only hope…." Havoc said despondently.

"We're never going to get out of this." Fuery said in a worried voice.

The team walked on (Or in Havoc and Fuery's case, dragged) through the hallway. They passed the Elric brothers who were about to go into their room.

"Hey Fullmetal, Alphonse! Follow me!" Roy said.

Ed flinched and looked like he was about to run off.

"I've forgiven you. Come on, it'll be fun."

Ed and Al looked at each other, communicated in the way siblings can communicate without words, nodded, than followed Roy.

The Colonel led them to his office and finally released Havoc and Fuery.

"All right, we're all here. Now what do you want?" asked Havoc.

"Last night everyone went to sleep early and I was so bored I was forced to go to bed as well. Not tonight. Since we're all stuck here for who knows how long, we may as well make the best of it: We're going to play truth or dare!"

"What?!" Ed shouted. "Are you kidding?! You can't just force us."

"Why not?! We've got nothing better to do! It'll be fun!"

"I can't really argue with that." Havoc said.

"It could be fun." said Al.

"I'm not so sure about this but…ok, I'm in." Fuery said.

"Well, all right." Riza agreed.

"I'm not so sure if I trust your version of 'fun'" Ed said. "But I'll play too."

And so, let the games begin!

Ok readers, here is where I need your help: What truths or dares do you want to see the characters do? If you want me to add more characters into the game I will, just say the word! I hope I get plenty of embarrassing or sexual related suggestions! Some examples:

Truth: If forced to, which one of us would you sleep with? What is your secret fetish?

Dare: Lick a Popsicle as suggestively as you can. Pole dance with a broomstick.

NOTE: If Chapter 14 is up, please do not send any more suggestions.


	14. Chapter 14 Truth or Dare

I'm not dead!!!! (I think)! I'm just a busy college student!! I'm reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaallllllllllly sorry to everyone whose been waiting!!

Thank you very much to Lulukiryu and YukinoKara who submitted truth or dare ideas! Also, thank you to everyone who has been reading this story from the beginning. I'm really sorry I made you wait.

Warning: Harry Potter reference.

Disclaimer-I claim that I do not own this series.

Chapter 14: Truth or dare

"So, who will be my first victim?" Roy grinned slyly and looked at each of the players. "Hmmmm….Havoc!"

Havoc sighed. "Oh boy, if it's you...I think I'll pick….truth."

"Have you ever had a wet dream and, if so, what was it about?"

"Aw Geez Roy!" Havoc's face turned as pink as a baby pig.

"You agreed to play."

"Actually I was forced here against my will but yeah I guess I did agree…But…there are children present!" Havoc motioned over to the Elric brothers.

"We're not children." Ed said, crossing his arms.

"Even if it is embarrassing…" Al looked at the floor.

"There's a lady present!" Havoc motioned to Riza.

"I won't be offended." She replied.

Havoc looked over at Fuery whose face was also pink and shuffled in his seat as though uncomfortable. He really didn't want to mention this sort of thing with his crush in the room.

"You're just making up excuses, chicken." Roy stuck his tongue out.

Havoc sighed. "Fine. Ok, back in high school there was this girl I really liked and one night I dreamt that we were making out. Sometime later she said she wanted to go to the "next level" and put her hand down my pants, yadda yadda yadda, the next morning I had to convince my mom that I wanted to wash my own sheets so I could learn how to do it when I finally moved out of the house. There, are you happy now?"

"Yes." Roy chuckled.

Ed shrugged. "Whatever."

"It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be." Al said.

"It happens." Riza said.

Fuery however was still staring at the floor. "Right, a girl. He likes girls…"

"I should have known you ask something like that." Havoc sighed again. "Oh well, who should I humiliate? How about…Ed!"

Ed smirked. "Dare! I'm not afraid!"

"Oh I think you should be." Havoc smirked right back. "I dare you to hump a pillow while making exaggerated noises."

Ed's face fell. "What?"

Roy laughed. "When it comes to truth or dare, Havoc is the real master of dares."

Havoc nodded appreciatively. "Why thank you."

Ed cringed. "You can't actually expect me to do this!"

"Did you or did you not agree?" The flame colonel asked, resting his chin on the back of his hand, smiling.

The blonde alchemist frowned, stood up, walked over the couch and picked up the largest pillow. "I'm sorry." He whispered to it. Then proceeded to "do the deed".

"This is wrong on so many levels." Al said, looking away. Fuery copied his actions. Riza also looked uncomfortable. Roy and Havoc however laughed and cheered Ed on. (1)

When it was over Ed fluffed the pillow lightly and paced it back on the couch. "I've ruined this pillow's life." Ed looked at it with shame and regret then whipped his head around to glare at Havoc. "YOU ruined its life!"

Havoc shrugged and grinned. "At least you were gentle with it…"

"You're sick," Ed said with disgust and turned to his brother. "Al, truth or dare?"

"Oh, I pick….dare."

"Ok, I dare you to say how you really feel about Winry."

"B…brother!" Al stuttered. "I….I really like her…but the way I am now….it's not like I could even kis…"

Ed looked directly at his brother. "Al, I promise to get you body back. And it won't take long."

"Brother…"

"A very special 'Fullmetal Alchemist.'" Roy said to the readers. That means YOU.

Riza smacked his arm. "Don't break the fourth wall."

"So then brother, you're fine with me liking Winry?"

"My brother and my best friend are in love, what's not to like?"

"You're not worried that they'll forget about you and only do things together?" Roy asked.

Ed waved his hand. "Nah. They would never do that." Ed looked at his brother in a strange way; half-glaring, half-worried. "Right?"

"Of course not brother." Al replied kindly. "We're brothers! Even though I like Winry, nothing could ever separate us."

"A sweet moment between brothers…"

Smack "What did I just say about the fourth wall?!"

"Sorry."

"My turn now." said Al. "Hmm….. Lieutenant Hawkeye, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

'What's the worst, most morally wrong thing you have ever done?"

"I once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die."

"………really?" Fuery asked.

"No. The worst thing I ever did was cheat on my math test in high school."

"Oh. ….. The other one was more interesting." said Havoc.

"Sergeant Fuery, truth or dare?"

"Oh, I'd never be able to do a dare, so truth."

"Let's see…" Riza knew how easily he became embarrassed so she though hard about her question. "Describe the best dream you've ever had in full detail."

Fuery blushed. "I can't tell them the truth!" he thought. "The best dream I've ever had involved me and Havoc! (2) Second best dream…let's see…"

"The best dream I've ever had: I was a student at Hogwarts at it was an alternate universe kind of thing; Voldemort had been defeated and everybody that died in the last book was alive. Anyway, it was 7th year and I, Harry, Ron Hermione, Neville, Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle (they randomly joined the group) all decided to pull a senior prank. We hexed a bunch of rolls of toilet paper so that they'd stick to the walls and wouldn't come off and if you tried to remove them with magic they wrapped around you so you looked like a mummy. But, while we were pulling the prank, we looked at the Marauder's Map and it said Snape was coming closer to us. We spilt up and the rest of the dream consisted of us running around the castle avoiding Snape while the Benny Hill theme played in the background. It was nothing short of awesome."

All were silent for a moment.

"Fuery wins for the best dream ever." Havoc said. "I think I love him even more now!!" he thought.

The other agreed.

"Ah, it's my turn now, isn't it?" Fuery turned to Roy. "Taisa, truth or dare?"

The Colonel smirked. "Dare! I'm not scared!" "As if he could think of anything

Fuery grinned. "Just what I wanted." He thought. "I'll make him pay for embarrassing Havoc."

"I dare you to imagine the person you have a crush on wearing nothing but their underwear!"

Roy's face turned red and he put his hand to his nose to stop the bleeding. "D…damn you."

Ed laughed and pumped a fist in the air. "Yeah! All right Fuery! Way to humiliate the colonel!"

Fuery grinned. "Thank you."

Havoc looked at him with gratitude and admiration. "I love him, that's it, I love him."

Roy stood up, still clutching his bleeding nostrils. "Ok, I think we're done."

"Ehhhh?!" the other chorused.

"You dragged us in here for only one round?!" Havoc shouted.

"It's late. And besides, as soldiers, we never know when we'll be called to action."

"Well, look whose Mr. Responsible now." Ed put his hands on his hips.

Roy glared at him. "I've heard that sleeping can enhance a person's growth…"

"Bed time!" Ed announced and ran out of the room.

After they all left Roy's office, a fly transformed into Envy and laughed his head off.

"Thank you Havoc. You proved that Ed truly can never be seme, not even with a pillow."

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

"Don't you think you were a little cruel to Ed with that dare?" Fuery asked Havoc as they walked down the hallway.

"Nah, the kid's always acting a little cocky. I thought I'd shake him up a little. Besides, you did the same thing to Roy. I do wonder, why?"

"He humiliated you so I thought I'd humiliate him."

Havoc smiled. "In that case, thanks." "He looks out for me. He's such a caring person…" he thought.

Fuery smiled back at him. "Any time." "He smiled at me! Ah, he has such a gorgeous smile…" He thought.

They stopped walking, realizing that they had reached the door to their shared room….

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

TO BE CONTINUED!!!...and updated soon….hopefully.

(1) Frat boy mode!

(2) Purely innocent dream! Or was it….? ^_0

(3) This was an actual dream I had!


	15. Chapter 15 Sleep tight

_Disclaimer-I don't own this series nor do I won the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I don't even have the DVD. My life sucks._

Chapter 15-Sleep tight.

"I almost forgot," Fuery thought. "I'm sharing a room with Havoc-san…"

Havoc scratched the back of his head. "Dammit, why me? It's bad enough sharing an office with him but now a room…why do I have to love him so much?"

The both reached for the doorknob at the same time. Their hands touched. After a moment they pulled them back.

"S…sorry" Fuery said, looking down. "Y…you can open it." "We touched hands again!!" he thought excitedly.

"All…all right." Havoc replied. "Another electrifying experience." Havoc thought. "If I get this way from just holding his hand…"

Havoc opened the door. Once inside, Fuery said,

"Um, do you mind…turning around while I change?"

"Oh yeah, that's right. Sure, it's not a problem." Havoc spun around to face the wall.

"Thank you."

Havoc was silent for a moment and then, "You know, I don't care if you turn around or not when I'm changing, just so ya know."

"Eh?"

Havoc nearly face palmed. "Crap!" he thought. "Why did I just say that out loud?!" "It's just that…I…I'm not really shy about my body so I don't care if you look or not." He said.

"Uh….ok." Fuery replied.

They were silent for the rest of the time. Havoc fought the urge to look.

"Just a peek…" The evil voice said. (1)

"No! I wont give in to you, Unseen Demon Creature!!!"

Fuery, meanwhile, as he put on his pajamas was daydreaming:

THIS IS DAYDREAM MODE

Fuery looked over his shoulder. Havoc was looking over his shoulder and quickly turned away.

"Havoc…were you looking at me?"

Havoc sighed. "I've been caught. I'm sorry, I know I betrayed your trust but I couldn't help it!! God, you're too cute."

"C…cute? Me?!"

Havoc turned around, a smile on his face. "You sound so surprised. Yes, I do think you're cute. I really like you."

"Really? I…I really like you too!"

Havoc's smile became even wider. Suddenly his face turned red and his smile faded. "Ah! Now hold on! I wasn't looking at you because I was thinking about…I'm not like that! I want to date you first, get to know you and then see where that leads."

"That's just what I want." He replied, overcome with joy.

Havoc walked toward him. "But first…just let me kiss you…"

EXITING DAYDREAM MODE

"Hey, are you done yet? This wall isn't very interesting…"

"Oh yeah! I'm sorry!" Fuery said, flustered. "I'm finished."

Havoc turned around and suppressed a gasp. Even though the military pajamas were dull, the white, cotton fabric looked good on him. He looked quite adorable, if he did say so himself. Like a little white rabbit…Havoc half-smiled and growled lightly.

"Ah, my prey," he thought, Havoc-wolf emerging once again. "You're in a dangerous situation. You're trapped in the Wolf's Den now. I wonder just how long I'll be able to keep myself from pouncing on you, with you looking so…_delectable._"

Just as suddenly as it came, his wolf-sense left. "What am I thinking? This is the exact wrong time for those sort of thoughts!"

"Ah, guess I'll change now." Havoc said, forcing his head to look away from the sight before him. He started unbuttoning his shirt.

Now Fuery forced his head to look away. "Ok, gotta stay cool." He thought to himself. "I don't want it to look like I'm staring but I don't want it to look like I'm purposely looking away. Casual glance, yes, casual glance."

He turned to Havoc slightly then quickly turned away. Havoc often bragged about how often he worked out but apparently there had been some truth to that statement. He was no Major Armstrong, that was for sure, but was toned and looked strong. Fuery pictured Havoc holding him tight in those big arms, his face leaning closer, whispering his name softly…

"Ah! No no no!" he shook his head. "I can't have those thought here! This is the absolute worst time for a daydream!"

"Hey are you ok?" Havoc asked, having finished undressing, he walked over to Fuery.

"Y…yeah. Ju…ju…just a headache."

"If I kiss your forehead maybe you'll feel better…" Havoc thought. "And then your lips…No! No! No! I can't have those thought right now!" Havoc gritted his teeth. "Well, goodnight." He said and got into his bed..

"Sleep tight." Fuery slid under his covers.

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

Meanwhile, Edward Elric was walking to his bedroom thinking about what Envy had said earlier.

"_We can't do this here_, he said." He said quietly to himself. "I know exactly what he meant by that. He wants to..." he gulped. "Oh God…now I know how Brad felt in Rocky Horror Picture Show. ® He had to deal with a crazy transvestite too…"

Ed then pictured Envy dressed as Dr. Frank N. Furter and singing "I'm just a sweet transvestite!" (2)

Ed shook his head frantically. "What the hell was that? I've clearly been inside here for too long. My mind's going wacko."

"Nil-san, are you ok?" Al asked.

Ed nodded. "I'm fine."

Once they reached the room, Ed noticed that there was a folded note on his bed. He waited until Al was asleep, then wondered whether he should tear it up or actually read it.

"Damn Palm tree. It's probably something perverted. And yet…" he sighed. "Dammit. I just know I'm going to regret this." He opened the note.

_Hello Chibi! I found out where you sleep! But don't think that I'm going to do anything to you. I'm not that kind of person._

_I just wanted to let you know, before you drift off into dreamland, that I do care about you. I really do. I would've called you but writing a letter seemed more personal, you know? _

_Look, I've been alive for a long time (I'm not going to tell you my real age, that's a secret!) and believe me when I say I have never felt this way about anyone else. I've never met another person quite like you. Ever. It isn't just your looks (though those aren't bad either) it's you. The love you have for your younger brother, your caring nature, your determination, everything about you is…is…I can't describe it!!_

_I'm not giving up on you just yet. _

_Envy._

Ed reread the note. And again. And again. Each time he still couldn't believe what he was reading. And what he felt from reading it.

"Dammit…it's honest. I know it is. I never thought someone would say something like that to me. But it's from HIM. My enemy."

Suddenly his phone went off. A text message from a now all too familiar number.

HEY SHORTY CHECK IT OUT I DISCOVERED TEXT MESSAGING LOLOLOL!!

**Beep** Another text:

DID U GET MY NOTE? DO YOU LOVE ME NOW?

Ed thought about what he should say and finally replied:

YEAH I GOT IT. STOP STALING ME YOU NUTSO!!!

U DIDNT LIKE IT? AWW AND I POURED MY HEART OUT FOR U ;_; OH WELL GUESS I'LL HAVE 2 TRY HARDER! ^_0

Ed sighed. "I couldn't even tell him the truth….dammit."

XxxxxxXxxxxX

The Flame Alchemist wiped off the blood dripping from his nose with a tissue.

"Geez Fuery," he said. "You really knew my weak point." He looked up, thoughtfully. "Riza…I wonder if you look as good in real life as you do in my fantasies…" The blood came gushing out again.

"Oh for crying out loud!!"

XxxxxxXxxxxX

I seem to enjoy torturing the Colonel don't I? =P Don't worry Roy I don't hate you. It's just fun to torture people every one in a while.

(1) I have returned bwa ha ha ha ha! =)

(2)Yeah, just TRY to get that picture out of your head. XP


	16. Chapter 16 Cabin fever sets in

**WARNING: OOC, especially Ed. THIS NEXT CHAPTER IS FILLED WITH TRUE STORRIES ABOUT THE INSANE THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED IN MY DORM. YOU MAY BE VERY CONFUSED. The first part is made up but the rest is (more or less) true. **

_Disclaimer-I do nooooooooooooooooooooooot own this series._

BTW: 'this mean s thoughts', "this means talking". Thanks' for the tip YukinoKara!

Chapter 16-Cabin Fever sets in…

"This is not exactly how I wanted to start off my morning…"

Alphonse Elric was woken up that morning, the third day of lockdown, by the sound of his brother jumping on the bed, laughing like a maniac. Not too long after he ran out of the room, Al followed him. He could only watch as his brother as he ran into the cafeteria, into the kitchen, and then appeared wearing a pot on his head.

"You can't take that, it belongs o the kitchen!" he said.

Ed ignored him, jumped onto a table, pointed his finger into the air and posed heroically, singing,

"Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm a lumberjack and I'm okaaaay! I sleep all night and I work all day!"

Al stared at him, having absolutely nothing to say.

All of a sudden, Ed removed his pot-hat and transmuted his pajamas into a pink frilly dress with ribbons. A pink ribbon had also appeared in his braided hair. This time he sang,

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and GAAAAYY!"

"………..Nii-san are you trying to tell me something?"

Ed ignored him once again, jumped off the table and ran off into the kitchen. When he emerged, he had transmuted his…er, outfit, back into his pajamas, but now he had covered himself head to toe in lettuce. He jumped onto the table again and raised his arms as if they were claws.

"Ah is da creature of da black lagoooooon!" H said eerily.

"Ok now I'm really concerned." Al said.

"Siiiiiiilence!" Ed turned to his brother. "I will eat your shoooooouul!" He looked at him with a twisted smile.

"Oooooookaaaay… " Al backed away slowly. "I think I'm going to have to get some help…"

"I'm Ol' Gregg!" Ed replied.

"That was another fanfiction. Whoops! Now I just broke the forth wall too!"

Ed laughed. "It's because we've been here for waaaaaaay too long!" He jumped off the table and shook the lettuce off him. "If you think about it, we're always doing traveling. We hardly ever stay in one place for very long. This is the longest I can remember being inside an actual building."

"That's true," Al said. "Are you sane again now?"

"About 68, maybe 75%."

"Well that's better than nothing."

Ed nodded. "Al, there's something I have to tell you; I've got cabin fever. A REALLY bad case of cabin fever."

"Yeah, I figured that."

"As far as I know, there's only one cure for it."

"What's that?"

Ed placed the pot over his head again. "Give in to the insanity."

"So what do you plan to do?"

The Fullmetal Alchemist smiled mischievously. "You'll see…"

XxxxxxXxxxxX

Havoc groaned as he rose out of bed. 'Day three. Dear god I don't think I'll be able to stand this much longer. Any second now I could blurt out my true feelings.'

He looked over to his sleeping roommate. He smiled and sighed.

'He looks so peaceful. And so sweet…' He could feel his wolf-sense returning. 'Our hunter watches as his prey sleeps. The prey has no idea of the danger he is in…'

Fuery yawned. He blinked his eyes open.

'The Havoc-wolf has missed his chance yet again. You've escaped this time little one, but next time, you might not be so lucky…'

Fuery sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Good morning Havoc-san." He said.

"Morning Fuery." He replied. "Another day in lockdown. It kinda feels like we're going to live here."

"Don't be so negative." Fuery said as he got out of bed. "We'll get out soon." 'Ah, to live here with you…I'd love that.'

After brushing their teeth and getting dressed (another awkward moment), they heard an unusual sound. It was the theme from the Halloween ® movie franchise.

"Is that your cell phone?" Fuery asked his roommate.

"No, I wouldn't want that as my ringtone. Those movies creep me out."

"Me too." Fuery half smiled. "Something we have in common…"

"It sounds like it's coming from outside the room." He walked over to the door and opened it. There stood Edward Elric with this cell phone, the source of the music. He grinned. "Goooooooood mooooorniiing."

"Ed what are you doing?"

"Starting off your day with some creepy music."

"Why?"

"It's cabin fever Lieutenant Havoc." Al appeared next to him.

"Ah, that explains the pot."

"You've certainly found an interesting way to entertain yourself." Fuery said, standing next to Havoc.

Ed nodded. "This would be better if it was actually Halloween but whatever."

"It was kinda funny in hindsight," Havoc stroked his chin. "You know, I think you have the right idea."

"What do you mean?" Al and Fuery asked.

"Think about it; we've been stuck here for over 24 hours and we're bored. Why not just go crazy for a little while?"

"That's not a bad idea." Fuery said, sounding excited.

"Could be fun." Al said.

"That's the spirit!" Ed jumped up and down. "Come on, let's go wake up more people!"

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

Roy Mustang was alone in a strange house, a thunderstorm raged outside. Dark shadows in the shape of a person appeared on the walls. The person appeared to be holding something. A flashlight? No. A candlestick? No, that wasn't it either. A knife? That just might be it…

Roy ran through the house, tried all the doors, but they were all locked. The shadows followed him, getting closer and closer.

To make matters worse the theme from Halloween ® was playing.

He finally reached a corner. The music became louder, the shadows became closer. No way out…

He woke up with a jolt. He breathed heavily and sat up.

"Thank God, only a nightmare…."

It was then that he noticed the music was still playing.

"Or was it…?" He slowly walked to the door. He opened it as fast as he could. There stood the tiny alchemist, dancing around with his cell phone, which was playing the music. Havoc, Fuery and Al were also there, laughing.

"Happy Not-Halloween!"

Roy stared at him for a moment then laughed. "Good one."

"Thank you Colonel." Ed stopped dancing and extended his hand. "Would you care to join us one our adventure?"

"Yes I would as a matter of fact."

"Excellent!" Ed danced off down the hallway. The others explained to Roy what was going on.

Riza was next. It took a while before she answered the door, but she eventually did. She laughed at bit then looked at Ed in a strange way.

"Do I even want to know why you have a pot on your head?"

"No." everyone else said. "Just join us."

Ed rushed off to the next door, Riza followed the group and the others gave her a rundown of what was happening. The next soldier looked very confused.

"What in the world?!"

"Gotcha!"

The team ran away as fast as they could except Ed, who stood still for a moment then randomly shouted, "Happy birthday to the ground!" He speed off as well.

The next soldier did not look pleased.

"Are you all out of your minds?!"

The group did not respond, they merely speed off, laughing. Ed stayed once again, this time he danced and sang.

"When I step in THE ROOM, people crowd to SEE ME…"

Al pulled him away by his arm.

The team ran off to Roy's office and locked the door. After their laughter subsided, Havoc said, "Woo that was fun!"

"I have to admit, that was pretty entertaining." Riza smiled.

"Did you see that last guy's face?! He was piiiiiiiiiiiiiised!" Ed said happily.

"I like the way you think Fullmetal," Roy said. "After being cooped up for this long, going crazy is just what we needed."

"Exactly." Ed nodded and the pot fell over his eyes. "Whoa who shut off the lights?"

Al fixed it for him. "You know what I just realized? You're a pot head."

His older brother frowned. "Hardy har har."

"Actually, considering the way you're acting right now…"

"I'm not on drugs!!!"

"If you say so."

"I'm hungry." Ed announced.

"That's what's know as the munchies…"

"No it isn't, shut up. I really am hungry."

"Me too." Fuery agreed.

The others agreed as well.

"So, who do we eat first?' Ed asked.

"What are you talking about?" Riza looked at him.

"This lockdown doesn't show any signs of ending soon. Pretty soon we're going to run out of food and have to resort to cannibalism."

"I highly doubt that." Roy said. "I'm sure there's plenty of food reserves here."

"Have you ever been in lockdown?"

"Yes."

"Longer than this?"

"Well, never this long…"

"That's what she said." Havoc whispered. Fuery overheard him and giggled.

"Ah ha!" Ed stood up and pointed his finger at the Flame Alchemist. "Then you don't know how much food there is!"

"Do you honestly think that the military wouldn't be prepared for something like this?"

"Look Colonel, let's face it: At the end of the day, I'm going to have to eat someone."(1)

"No you're not."

"Yes I am!"

Roy sighed. "Fine, who are you going to eat?"

"Whoever wants to be eaten."

Roy stood up. "All right then, let's find out. Who wants to be eaten?"

"Oh eat me! Eat me!" Havoc raised his hand, going along with the joke.

"I taste better, eat me!" Fuery said.

"Now hold on," Roy turned around to face Ed. "You know Ed, you've already got a _cooking_ pot on your head."

Ed looked at him with a mix of annoyance and slight fear. "What are you talking about?"

Roy moved closer, grinning like a sly fox. "I've always liked shrimp…"

Ed laughed nervously. "Eh heh heh heh, Y…you know I was just kidding about the whole cannibalism thing, right?"

"Oh? Well I wasn't." Roy dove for him.

"Gahh!" Ed ran off just in time and fled under Roy's desk.

Roy laughed. Ed poked his head out and frowned.

"You suck." He stuck his tongue out.

"Come on, let's go eat real food, not humans."

XxxxxxXxxxxX

Roy and Riza went back to their rooms to get dressed before breakfast. Ed remained in this pajamas, and the pot-hat.

"You better hope there isn't a surprise inspection." Riza warned him. "You're pretty much breaking the dress code."

"Whatever." He shrugged. "I can just transmute my clothes if I wanted to."

"Please don't remind me of that." Al said. "Wait actually; Nii-san, about that dress…"

"Oh that. Yeah actually I was trying to tell you that…ya know."

"Ah so you are…"

"Yup."

"Ok."

"You're fine with that?"

"Of course Nii-san. You're still my brother after all."

"Awe, I'm so glad you're my little bro!" He smiled at him.

"I'm glad you're my older brother. I couldn't ask for anyone better."

Ed smiled even wider. "You're gonna make me cry Al."

"Uh, what just happened?" Roy looked confused.

"I'm gay." The tiny alchemist turned to him.

"Oh ok."

"…What? That's it?" Now Ed looked confused. "No snarky remark? No 'I always suspected'? No nothing?"

"Nope."

Ed stared at him. "I don't know what you're doing but I'll be ready for you. I'm always watching." He walked backwards while waving his arms. "Alllllwaaaayyysss." He backed into a wall. Luckily the pot protected his head from being hurt.

"Ha! You see! My hat has a purpose!!"

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

After breakfast the team didn't know what to do next so they all just went back to Roy's office.

"I'm bored." Roy announced. "There's nothing to do around here. There's nothing even remotely interesting."

Ed was lying on the couch, looking at the ceiling. "That crack looks like a cross between a turkey and a narwhal." (2)

"…I stand corrected…."

"Anybody have any ideas?" Riza asked.

"Don't you dare suggest Twister." Havoc warned Roy.

"OR truth or dare." Ed glared at him.

"Ok, ok," Roy groaned. "So, what do we do instead?"

Ed sat up and shrugged. "Go insane?"

Everyone was silent for a moment.

"Sounds good to me." Roy said.

To be continued!!

XxxxxxXxxxxX

(1)This is an actual quote from my friend. If you, the friend who said this, are reading this, you do know you're reading a shonen-ai story, right?

(2)…on second thought, just don't ask.


	17. Chapter 17 Hide and Go Seek

_Disclaimer-What? Me? The creator of Fullmetal Alchemist? Nope, sorry, you got the wrong person. _

Chapter 17-Hide and Go Seek

Continued from the last chapter…

"So, what should we do?" Havoc said.

"I don't know," Roy replied. "What does everyone want to do?"

Ed stood up. "I want to defeat the giant monkey man and save the 9th dimension!"

"That sounds difficult." The Colonel replied.

"…I want to defeat the little monkey man and save the 8th dimension!" (1)

"Why don't we do something that's not impossible?"

"Where's the fun in that?"

"We could play a new game, not Twister or Truth or Dare." Havoc said.

"Like what?"

"Hide and Go Seek." Fuery whispered. "No, that's childish…"

"Heeey, that sounds like a good idea!" Havoc said.

"Eh? You really think so? I was just saying the first thing that came to mind."

"No, I like it!"

"I wanna play!" Ed jumped around.

Roy smirked. "Ok then, but I must warn you all, I was the best hider AND seeker when I was younger."

"Was," Riza said. "Plus you've gotten older. You're past your prime. And I'll have you know that I was THE hide-and-go seek champion as a child."

Roy turned to her. "Oh really? Well, let's just see about that."

"Yes, we will."

The two smiled, and yet their eyes seemed to glow with a fire in them.

"It's just a game…" Fuery said quietly.

"So, who's going to be it?" Havoc asked.

"I'll be it first," Al said. "I kind of want to see this little battle between the Colonel and the Lieutenant." He chuckled as he watched the two glare at each other.

"Then let the battle begin!" Roy said loudly.

Al began to count, "1…2…3…"

The team scattered.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxX

Al ran through the hallways.

"Now where could they be?"

He went into the cafeteria. He saw a pair of boots under a table. He looked underneath and saw his older brother.

"Found you Nii-san!"

"Aww man! Was I the first one found?"

"Yup."

"Darn it!" He frowned as he got up.

"Are you ever going to take that pot off your head?" Al asked.

"Maybe."

"Let's go find everyone else."

Al opened the door of the kitchen doors.

"Found you Havoc! Oh no, not another."

Al walked out of the kitchen shaking his armor helmet. Havoc walked out with a pot on his head and held another in his hands.

"You've got to be kidding me." Al said, exasperated.

Ed pumped his fist. "Yeah! Havoc has joined the Pot-hat club!"

Havoc grinned. "My hat is cooler than yours!"

"Is not!" Ed pouted.

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

Al sighed and face palmed. "Help me."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

The two potheads followed Al as he searched for the remaining hiders. Fuery was found around a corner of Headquarters.

"This is for you!" Havoc placed the pot onto his head.

"Um, thank you? I think."

"You'll learn to love it."

"The Colonel and the Lieutenant really are good at this. Where could they be?"

Ed grinned devilishly and chuckled. "Maybe they're hiding together in a dorm room or something if you know what I mean~."

"You don't mean…!" Fuery's face turned a bright shade of red.

"Think about it: We all know that the Colonel likes her, right?"

"Right." They all replied.

"Well, maybe she feels the same way and they decided to hide somewhere where they can't be found." He winked suggestively.

"Naughty naughty, Colonel." Havoc also winked suggestively.

"Waah! Using Hide and Go Seek as a façade for that! How shameful!" Al said.

"Then again, what else would you expect from him?" Ed said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Would you all shut up?!" The door near to the group slammed open. Roy was standing there, looking quite ticked. "I have higher standards than that!"

Everyone was silent for a moment.

"Found you." Al said.

Roy blinked. "Dammit!" He stomped his foot. "I lost!"

The group continued searching.

"So, you all know huh?" Roy asked the group hesitantly.

"No offense Colonel but you're kind of obvious." Fuery said.

"I'm surprised SHE hasn't realized it." Havoc said.

Roy sighed. "Even if she has she's already expressed that she doesn't want to get involved with a co-worker. I shouldn't even bother anymore…"

"Speaking of Lieutenant Hawkeye, she wasn't kidding, she is good!" Al was amazed. "Where is she?"

Roy shut his eyes, lifted his arms and wiggled his fingers. "Using my mystical hide and go seek powers I shall find her!"

Ed stared at him. "And I thought I was crazy."

Roy suddenly pointed in the direction of Riza's dorm. "That way!"

The team ran down. Riza was hiding behind the curtains of her dorm room.

Everyone but Ed looked at him with awe. "Hooooow?!"

Roy grinned smugly. "I told you I had the power."

Ed folded his arms. "Or you saw her run into there while you were looking for a hiding place."

Riza grinned. "So you were found before me Colonel? I told you I would win."

"Well next time I will be the victor!" Roy said, frowning. He covered his eyes and started counting. "1…2…3…"

The team scattered once again.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Roy ran frantically down the hallway. 'You think you're so clever Lieutenant. Well actually you are but that's not the point! Just because I like you doesn't mean I will let you have this victory!'

He went into her office. He discovered her crouching behind her desk.

"Ah ha! Found you Lieutenant!"

"Good work." She said as she walked out of the office. "You're pretty good."

Roy chuckled a bit and followed her. "Well now that that's settled, what do you want to do now?'

"COLONEL!"

The door next to them crashed open. Al, Ed, Havoc and Fuery fell down out of a storage closet in a pile.

"Oh yeah, you guys."

"You all hid in the same place?" Riza looked confused.

"It was Ed's idea." Fuery explained.

"You didn't care if you found us or not did you Colonel?!" Al asked.

"It was all about Lieutenant Hawkeye, I knew it!" Ed said triumphantly as he adjusted his hat and stood up.

"Ok, despite the fact that you were right Ed, that was extremely uncomfortable." Havoc groaned.

Ed ignored him, as he hadn't finished gloating. "You wanted to beat her huh? Or maybe you wanted to impress her so she would want to dat…"

Roy pulled Ed up by the collar of his shirt. "Wanna have that pot shoved down your throat?"

"Not really, than you." Ed smiled awkwardly.

Roy let go of him. "Lieutenant Hawkeye's it now."

"1…2…3…"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Ed ran into the Fuhrer's office.

"Er, Fullmetal…can I help you?"

"Sorry Fuhrer but this is an emergency." He dove behind the couch.

"Uhhh, do I even want to know?"

Ed popped out. "If you must know I'm playing hide and go seek."

"Oh. And the reason you have a pot on your head?"

"Cabin fever."

"Ah. Well then, continue."

Riza burst into the room.

"Fuhrer, have you seen anyone run by here?"

"No, can't say that I have."

She was still for a moment. Then she went to the couch.

"Hello Ed."

"My God you're a genius!" Ed popped up, spread his arms out wide, and ran out the door. "I can fly!"

Riza ran after him.

The Fuhrer blinked and then looked up at the ceiling. "Envy, what the hell is going on around here?"

Envy transformed into his usual form and stood on top of the Fuhrer's desk looking at the door. A cat-like smile played on his lips.

"I'm not really sure but I sense an opportunity…"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Fuery ran down the hall as fast as he could, looking for a hiding place. But he could find none and did not run not fast enough. Ed popped out of nowhere. He grabbed the end on his shirt.

"Tag you're it!"

"We're not playing tag! And you're not even it."

Riza sighed as she caught up to them. "I think Ed's really starting to lose it now."

"I can see that."

Ed looked at Riza with a serious expression. "I caught him. He is my prisoner."

They both stared at him.

"Ok fine, I'm your prisoner." Fuery said, also serious.

"Yeah!"

The three continued walking, with Ed holding onto Fuery's shirt. Al was discovered under a staircase.

"Al, look! Sergeant Fuery is my prisoner now!" Ed smiled.

"At this point, I'm not even going to ask." Al said.

Havoc was the next one found, behind the door of his office.

"I have a prisoner!" Ed said triumphantly, tugging on Fuery's shirt.

Havoc looked at him strangely. "Really? And, uh, what do you plan on DOING with your prisoner?"

Ed thought for a moment. After a while he replied, "Torture."

"Eh?!" Fuery looked shocked and a little frightened. 'Considering the state he's in, I wouldn't be surprised if he really did it!'

Without warning, Havoc grabbed Fuery away from Ed. He pulled him very close to him. "He's MY prisoner now."

Ed frowned. "Darn, I've lost my prisoner." He sighed as he walked off. "Oh well."

"Uh, umm," Fuery blushed. Havoc really was holding him close. "So, I'm your prisoner now. Wh…what are you gong to do to me?"

Havoc's cheeks turned pink. He released his grip. "Set you free."

"Thank you." Fuery looked at the ground as he followed the others. 'If I was your prisoner, I wouldn't want to be free.'

'Of course, if you were my prisoner for real, there's no way I would let you go…' Havoc thought.

Roy was finally found, hiding behind the curtains of his office.

"Ah ha! I've won this round!" Roy said victoriously.

"Next time you won't be so lucky."

"I'm bored with the pot." Ed said as he (finally) took it off his head. "So ya know what? I'm gonna THROW IT TO THE GROUND!!!"

Havoc and Fuery also took theirs off, but did not throw them to the ground.

"1…2…3…"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

A FEW MORE ROUNDS LATER

Ed snickered as he hid under Roy's desk. "It's a good thing I'm so small, I can hide in close spaces." He blinked. 'Wait, did I just say being short is a good thing? I must REALLY be losing it!' He shook his head frantically. "Whatever. They'll never find me here!"

"Oh, but I found you." He heard a very familiar voice say next to him.

He felt a chill down his spine. He shut his eyes tightly.

'Please let me be hearing things.'

He opened his eyes, looked up and there was Envy. His smiled like the Cheshire cat. And began crawling like a cat toward the hiding alchemist.

"Looks like we've found ourselves in another tight situation, Chibi-san."

Indeed, there was barely enough room for one person, and with Envy moving closer the space began even more cramp.

"Playing hide and go seek are we? Well, let's hope no one finds us; not for a very long time~." He winked.

Ed felt his face grow warm. "Wh…what do you want?" he asked in a hostile manner.

Envy smirked. "That should be obvious at this point." He pulled the mini alchemist into a hug. Ed squealed.

"Let go of me!" He struggled and squirmed.

"Come on Chibi, give me a kiss."

Ed tried as best as he could to wriggle away but it was futile.

"Get out of here! I…I…I mean it!" He tried to push him away but there was no room to move his arms. 'Why is this psycho doing this?' That was when he remembered the letter. It made his heart beat increase. 'It doesn't mean anything!' He tried to convince himself. 'He was lying; I just know it! He's the enemy! I should hate him! But…why am I leaning in?' he wondered.

Suddenly, the door slammed open.

"I know someone's in here!"

Envy pouted. "Damn, I was so close. Oh well; see ya later Fullmetal shrimp." He gave him a quick peck on the forehead, transformed into a fly and flew off.

Roy's head appeared from the side of the desk.

"Found ya!"

Ed was rubbing his forehead. His face was red.

"Fullmetal? Are you ok?"

"Y…yeah. I'm fine. It's just really hard to breath in there, yeah that's it."

"Why are you touching your forehead?"

"I uh, I bumped it on the top of the desk."

Ed got up and out of the office as quickly as he could. He clutched his head and staggered through the hall. 'What's wrong with me? Could it be that I'm actually falling for this guy? No…no…I can't have these feelings. And yet…what am I supposed to do?!'

Envy flew through the halls toward an open window.

'Well, "I think that we've had quite enough of this. Everybody here is going completely insane. It's time those two lovebirds got out of Central. And I'm the one to help them…'

XxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Hide and Go Seek was over. The team split off to do their own things. As Havoc walked threw the halls he could still feel his heart beating.

"I was so close to him…"

IN THE STORAGE CLOSET

By the time he realized that the way he was standing, he was face to face with Fuery, it was too late. Ed had shut the door.

"And now we listen and wait."

"I forgot, why did we agree to this?" Fuery asked.

"I have no idea." Havoc said; sounding annoyed.

"I told you; I want to see if the Colonel actually cares about Hide and Go seek or if he just wants to beat Lieutenant Hawkeye." Ed said as he sat on Al's shoulders.

Havoc sighed. He tried to turn his head away or shift his position, but it was no use. He was stuck. There was only one way he could look and that was into Fuery's eyes.

Fuery blushed. He chuckled nervously. "A bit too close for comfort huh?"

Havoc gulped. "C…cute!" he said quietly.

"Did you say something?"

"Me? N…no! Nothing!" 'Damn, I've been here too long. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up!'

Suddenly, he heard the Colonel's voice.

"A ha! Found you!"

"There he is! Be alert everyone!"

END OF FLASHBACK

Havoc bit his lower lip.

'I've had enough of this. I have to tell him…'

XxxxxxxXxxxxxX

Fuery's face still felt hot. He had been so close to havoc in that storage closet, and so tempted to throw his arms around him and kiss him with all his might.

'I've had enough of this! I have to tell him!'

To Be Continued!

(1)Yes, it's Spongebob; you got a problem with that?!


	18. Chapter 18 The Great Escape

_Disclaimer- don't own this series. _

Chapter 18- The Great Escape

Lust and Scar emerged from the motel holding hands and fixing their clothes.

"We really should find a way out of here." Lust said,

Scar scratched his head. "I know but what can we do? There are too many soldiers around."

"Which is exactly why I am here to help." They heard a voice say behind them. They spun around. It was Envy.

"Envy!" Lust said, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I figured you two could use some help escaping." He looked up and noticed the building they had just come out of. He coked his eyebrow and smiled devilishly. "What have we here? You're not even trying to escape!" He laughed and gave them a thumbs up. "You're taking advantage of the situation! Oooh, way to go!"

Scar grabbed him by his turtleneck shirt… thing (1). "Are you going to help us or not?" He growled.

"I'm helping! Now put me down."

He dropped him, brusquely.

Envy brushed himself off. "Ya don't have to be so rough…except with her if she's into that…"

"Envy, I swear I will stab you." Lust said threateningly.

"All right all right, chill."

"So how are we going to do this?" Scar asked him.

Envy flashed a smile. "Just leave it all to me!"

In a flash, he transformed into Scar.

"I'd lead the soldiers away from you as you run out."

"Thank you." Scar said.

"Yes, thank you Envy." Lust smiled.

"Hey, no prob. You've been like a sister to me so I thought I'd help ya out."

He ran off into the streets. "HEY! I'm over here! Come and get me!"

Gunshots were heard. Scar and Lust backed up against the wall as they saw the disguised Envy and several soldiers run after him. As soon as they were gone from sight, they ran out of the alley.

This went on for a while; Envy leading the soldiers away from the two lovers as they ran through the city towards the exit. After some time…

"We made it." Scar said as he panted.

"Next time, let's try to remember which cities we're not welcome in." Lust half smiled.

Scar half smiled as well and laughed a bit. "Agreed."

"Home?" She took hold of his hand.

"Please." He squeezed her hand.

"I THINK I'LL JUST BE GOING NOW!" They heard Scar's (Envy's) vice say loudly as he appeared, running towards the city exit. Scar and Lust ran off as fast as they could and found a large building to run behind.

Just as Envy reached the end of the city he ran behind the Central sign and transformed into a fly and flew away. The soldiers looked around in confusion.

"He was just here, I saw him!"

"It was like magic!"

"Or alchemy. You know he has a habit of disappearing below ground."

"Well, it seems like we have no more reason to search for him. You heard him, he's gone."

"Ok. Let's call in the Fuhrer; lockdown's over."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Envy stood on top of a tall building, watching Scar and Lust as they walked away. "See ya later you crazy kids!" He waved. He turned to look at military headquarters and smiled deviously.

"Now that that's done, I think I'll go back to my little Chibi-chan…"

TO BE CONTINUED!

(1)Seriously, what is that thing?


	19. Chapter 19 FREEDOM!

_Disclaimer-I never owned this series. Ever._

Chapter 19- FREEDOM!!!

"Do I even want to know what you're doing?" Roy asked the Fullmetal Alchemist, who had walked into his office (now full dressed) holding an empty bottle.

"Can I borrow a piece of paper and a pen? I can't stand being stranded here any longer; I'm going to write for help."

"Fullmetal, we're not stranded on a desert island. We're in a building. Besides, you know we can't leave until we get the Fuhrer's orders."

"Silence! My plan will work!"

Roy sighed. "All right." He gave him the pen and paper.

Ed frantically wrote down his message. He handed it to Roy. "Tell me what you think."

Roy read:

_Dear Sir or Madam or Other,_

_We are stranded in Central military headquarters. We have been stranded here for over 48 hours. We are going insane and if we do not get out soon we will resort to cannibalism. Nobody here is wiling to be eaten so please send help immediately. There will be a reward. I have about $10.50 in my wallet and am willing to give half of it to our rescuer. _

_Sincerely,_

_Your Military._

Roy handed the letter back to him. "That sums it up fine."

Ed nodded approvingly, stuffed the letter into the bottle and opened the window.

"SAVE OUR SOULS!!!"

He tossed the bottle out the window. After a moment there was they sound of glass crashing.

He turned back to Roy. "I don't think that worked."

"No, really?"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

After the little adventure with the bottle, Roy sat alone in his office, tossing his pocket watch up into the air and catching it. Toss. Catch. Toss. Catch. Toss…

"Colonel," Riza entered the office.

"Yes?" He asked, just as his watch hit him on his head. "Ow." He rubbed his head. "Er, you were saying?"

"There was a phone call a moment ago from a person named Melissa. She called to cancel your date for tomorrow night."

"Oh." He looked unaffected. "Ok then."

She still stood in the doorway. "Excuse me for prying into your personal life, but, you don't seem to care."

"Hm? It's not prying at all. We should talk about our lives more often. About Melissa, well I didn't really find her that interesting to tell you the truth. She's nothing like…n…never mind. We both weren't that into each other."

"I see." She turned and was about to close the door. Suddenly she spun around. "Why are you like this?"

"Huh? Like what?" Roy was confused and a little surprised. Her tone was demanding, and she sounded as though she was hurt.

"Why are you a womanizer? You go on thousands of dates with thousands of different women. After all these years you can't pick just one?!"

Now Roy was completely in shock. This was so unlike her. "I had no idea that you cared about my love life."

"Of course I care! I care because you're my friend and I don't know why you do this. I know you want to settle down and have a family, I've heard you and Hughes. Those women you go out with don't really know you are care about you in a special way. They can't possibly love you like I…" She stopped. She appeared to shake.

"Lieutenant…"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything." Tears began to wheal up in her eyes. She spun around and proceeded to run out of the office.

"Wait! Riza!" He stood up.

She froze.

Roy took a deep breath. "Do you want to know why I date them? The real reason?"

She didn't turn around him but nodded, shakily.

"Because I was looking for someone who could make me forget my feelings for you. Someone who could make me stop thinking about you."

She turned to face him. "Colonel, what are you saying?"

Roy waked toward her. "I've found that that is impossible. There is no one in this world like you. No matter how many women I see, none of them take my mind off of you."

He put his hand on her shoulder. "Look, I know you say you don't want to start a relationship with a coworker but believe me when I say that I really, truly, care about you. Please, give me a chance." He grinned in a hopeful, awkward-teenage-boyish sort of sort of way that was not like him at all. "Go out with me. Please? What do you say?"

She grinned. "Hai. I'd like that a lot."

They closed their eyes and leaned into each other…

All of a sudden, the intercom went on. **Buzz **"Attention all soldiers: Scar has left the city and Central is no longer in lockdown. I repeat, Central is no longer in lockdown." **Buzz**

Roy groaned. "Thank you for ruining the moment."

**Buzz** "You're welcome." **Buzz**

"FREEEEEDOOOOOOM!" They heard Ed as he ran past the office at max speed.

Roy sighed. "Yet another moment killer."

"Oh forget them." In a flash, Riza pressed her lips against his.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Ed burst through the front doors of Headquarters, an extremely happy look on his face.

"Oh sweet freedom!" He fell to his knees. "Oh good old terra cotta!" He kissed the ground. He then spat. "The ground tastes terrible."

"Thanks for letting me know." He heard a very familiar voice say behind him.

He slowly got up. "You've GOT to be kidding me." He turned around. Sure enough, there was Envy, with that cat-like smile on his face.

"Hello Chibi."

Ed groaned. "You again? Geez, you really are persistent." He began to pace, waving his arms around, which was quite a comical sight. "No matter how many times I tell you to leave me alone yet you still make passes at me. Did you know that I went crazy while I was in there? You probably do, you probably watched me, you psycho. Anyway, I convinced everybody that it was cabin fever but you want to know the real reason I was acting crazy? You, that's why. You! You're driving me crazy! I can't get you out of my head. At first I thought, 'My God this guy is annoying!', but after everything you've said now I'm starting to think I might have feelings for you!"

Ed froze. He put his arms down and slowly turned to face Envy. "I just said that all out loud didn't I?"

Envy nodded, still smiling. "Yup."

"…Damn."

Envy sauntered over to him. "I'm happy. I was starting to think you'd never be interested and was about to give up."

Ed snorted. "You? With your determination?"

Envy laughed. "Yeah, even me. You didn't exactly make things easy. You're a difficult one to catch. Though to be honest," He winked. "The chase was quite fun."

Ed half smiled. "Well, it looks like your plan worked. You caught me. I think I'll take you up on that dinner and a show."

Envy grinned wider. "You mean it?"

"Yeah."

"Yippee!" He hugged Ed.

"Hey! Lemme go!"

"No way." His voice had a devilish tone to it. "It's like you just said; I caught you."

Ed managed to push him away. "Listen you, if you really meant everything you aid in that letter and you really want to date me, you're gonna hafta stop making those perverted comments all the time. Why do you say things like that?"

Envy shrugged. "I don't know. It's just who I am. But listen despite those things I've said before I don't want to rush into a relationship. We'll take things slowly."

Ed smiled. "Good. That's what I want."

"And every once in a while I'll make a perverted joke, but not constantly. Is that good?"

"That's fine. I won't ask you to change completely. And uh," Ed blushed a bit and opened his arms. "Can I have another hug?"

Envy grinned and obliged. "I was hoping you'd ask."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Havoc knew that lockdown was over but he was determined not to leave until he found Fuery and told him how he felt about him. He walked down the hallway searching for him. Fuery, meanwhile, was doing the same thing. They eventually ran into each other.

'Ok, this is it.' Havoc thought, as he bit his lower lip.

'Just say it.' Fuery thought, as he gulped and felt his knees grow weak.

"Hey," Havoc said.

"H…hi." Fuery replied.

"So uh, I guess we're free now."

"Yeah, it seems so."

"Do you want to take a walk out together?"

"Sure."

The walked in silence, occasionally glancing at each other then looking directly at something else, like the ground or the ceiling.

Havoc cleared his throat. "All in all, I kinda had fun in lockdown."

"Me too. It was nice to play with everyone. I felt like a kid again."

"I may never look at Ed the same way again though."

"You can say that again."

A bit more silence followed. Before they knew it they had reached the exit.

"It's back to our regular routine now." Havoc said.

"Ye…yeah."

"Well, see you next week Sergeant." He reached for the door, hesitantly.

"See you Lieutenant."

'SAY IT!' The voice said in both of their heads.

"I love you!" They said simultaneously.

They were silent for a moment. Then it set in.

"Huh? Wait, you…?" Havoc asked.

"Did you just say…?" Fuery asked.

They were still for a moment. Then, Fuery jumped on him, pulling him into a huge hug.

"You don't know how happy I am!"

Havoc pulled him closer. "You don't know how happy _**I**_ am."

They stayed that way for a long time. When they finally let go, they both saw the smiles on each other's faces.

"So, a date? This Friday?" Havoc asked.

"That would be perfect." Fuery replied.

Havoc grinned and took Fuery's chin in his hand. "I think I know one more thing that would make it perfect."

He placed a kiss on Fuery's lips, which he gladly returned.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

The End! But wait…it's not quit over yet!


	20. Chapter 20 THE END!

Finally, my first fanfic has reached the end! Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed! Thank you to all those who have been reading since the very beginning! Thank you!

A special thanks to YukinoKara-san who supported the story from the very beginning and gave me writing tips. Thanks to Sonar-san who gave me the idea for this little blooper chapter.

WARNING: SAUCY STUFF. IT'S RATED T FOR A REASON

_Disclaimer-If you've been paying any attention at all you should know by now that I do not own FMA._

Me-Now that the story is over there's only one thing left to do: It's time for the BONUS RANDOM CHATTING WITH EVERYBODY AND GOING BEHIND THE SCENES, BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL AND THINGS LIKE THAT YEEEEEEAAAAAAH!!!!! =D

Al-How much sugar have you had today?

Me-I'm not telling youuuuuuu. It's a seeeecreeeet.

Al-……Okay then.

Me-Right, so this is basically just me randomly talking about things with the cast of the fic. So everyone, what'd you think?

Ed-It sucked. U_U

Me- =(

Al-Nii-san! That wasn't nice!

Ed-Well it's true. I mean, it ended on a weird note. What happens to everyone now?

Me-I'd like to let the audience think up their own ending.

Loud chorus of "Cooornyyy!"

Me-Oh all right!

Essentially, Roy and Riza date for a while then get married.

Chorus of "Awwwws!"

Random person-I Like EdXRoy better!

Me-0_o….ok…same thing for Ed and Envy.

Chorus of "Awwwws!"

Same random person-I still like EdXRoy better.

Me-Then why did you read this? -.-;; And it's the same thing for Havoc and Fuery.

Chorus of "Awwwws!"

Me-….Hey random person who is most likely a fangirl, aren't ya gonna say something?

Random person (who is most likely a fangirl) again-I have nothing against it.

Me-Well that's good…

At this point you know who this is-But EdXRoy is the best!

Me-U_U

Ed- That's it? The stereotypical marriage at the end? **Huffs** How unoriginal.

Me-So are you saying you DON'T want to marry Envy?

Ed-….*Blush* I didn't say that.

Envy-Hey author person, could you possibly describe our wedding night if you know what I mean~. ^_0 =P

Me-Oh ho ho~! I know EXACTLY what you mean. :)

Ed-No no no no no! That is private and personal! Also, I will not have you scaring my little brother's mind!

Al-Yeah, please don't. I have nothing against my brother's sexual preference; I would just rather not know what goes on behind closed doors. **Shudders**

Ed-Speaking of Al, what happened to him?

Me-Oh yeah, that's right. You both found an alternate way to bring back the body parts (and body) you lost, not the Philosophers Stone.

Ed-Sweet! What was it?

Me-…would you believe a magical talking golden toad?

Ed-…no.

Me-Well that's what it was so deal with it.

Ed-O…k.

Me-Also, Al eventually admits his love for Winry too and she feels the same way.

Al-Yeah! ^-^

Roy-So when's the wedding?

Me-Whenever they want to have it.

Al-Hey, hey! We're still just kids!

Roy-Well you're not gonna stay young forever. Get to it!! And make Ed your ring bearer; he's the right size.

Ed-What'd you say? =(

Riza-Roy, leave him both alone.

Roy-Ok Honey.

Everyone else-Honey?

Ed-Who are you and what have you done with Roy Mustang?

Roy- **Sarcastic** Ha ha ha. You know author; your description of our fates is really short.

Me-You're right Colonel. So here's some background info:

Roy becomes the Fuhrer, but the name changes to President cuz it's a democracy or something like that (I don't know what kind of government they set up at the end of the first series of FMA but it was most likely a democratic republic, right?)…

Roy-Woo hoo!

Me-…and the first order of business is the Miniskirt Law!

Roy-WOO HOO!

Riza-*Rolls eyes* Oh brother.

Roy-*Grins* Admit it, you love it. **Turns to me** She does, right?

Me-Yup, she does lean to love it.

Riza-*sighs* Fine, I love the skirts.

Roy- ^_^ 3

Riza-I have a question, do we have children?

Me-Do you want children?

Riza-*Cheeks turn pink* Well, yes. Roy and I have talked about it…

Me-Ok then go make babies.

Roy and Riza-…*Sweat drop*

Al-There's no way to respond to that. -_-;;;

Me-Anyway, Envy didn't stop with his perverted comments completely. They just weren't as frequent. Also, both their cell phone message board was overloaded with lovey-dovey texts.

Envy-And, I still leave him sexy messages too. But now, he does too. ;P

Ed-o///o ENVY!!

Envy-*Grin*

Me-So anyway, Fuery got over his shyness of undressing in front of others. Well, he was still shy about that, but not in front of Havoc that was for sure! Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more!

Fuery- ////// Just because it's true doesn't mean you can say that sort of thing out loud!

Ed-Yeah, same for me!

Me-So you both admit that what was said about you both was true.

Ed and Fuery-………..

Me-Envy, could I hear a few of these messages he leaves you?

Envy-But of course. ;) **hands me cell phone**

Ed-Erk! Noooooo!

**Beep**

YOU HAVE 1 NEW MESSAGE:

Hey Envy it's me. I'll be home from work soon and when I get back you better be ready for a loooong night cuz I've been craving you all day~. I think you know what I want: You, on top, hands on my shoulders. Me, on my back, legs spread…

Ed-*Grabs cell phone* What is wrong with you?! =( o////o

Me-*Small amount of blood coming out of nose* Thank you for the visual….}D

Al-*shaking* I know far too much about my brother now…

Everyone else-Us too. **sweat drop**

Ed-*Hits Envy* Why do you give her your cell?! You're evil!!

Envy-*Hugs Ed* I'm sorry, but it was totally worth it to hear your sweet little voice practically begging for sex~

Ed-*Looks away* I wasn't begging… -//////-

Me-To continue; in the end, the 'wolf' caught his 'prey'.

Havoc-Finally! ^_^ **Turns to Fuery with a devilish gleam in his eyes and puts his arms around him** Heh heh heh; I have you now, my little rabbit.

Fuery-Um, uh... **SERIOUSLY blushing **You won't let me go will you?

Havoc-Nope. **Evil grin** You're so cute I could just eat you up. In fact, I think I will.

Fuery-Eek! P…please don't eat me!

Havoc-Don't be frightened little one. My hunger is not a hunger of the stomach but a hunger of the flesh…

Roy- **waves** Hellooooo. We're all still here.

Havoc-Ack! Oh yeah, you guys…

Fuery- o///o*Mumbling to himself* H…how embarrassing…going through our role play at a time like this…

Me-*On the verge of a nosebleed* Dammit Roy, why'd you stop them?!

Roy-Hey pervert,

Me-*Forgot what just happened* Yes?

Ed-*Sweat drop* She responds to that…

Roy-I noticed that a lot of the chapters took some time to write and you had some weird rough drafts.

Me-I did indeed. For instance, I was going to have the characters do impressions of each other and basically mock each together but I couldn't think of anything besides Ed and Roy…

Ed-Hi, I'm Roy Mustang. I'm a womanizing, arrogant jerk and I can make flames appear by snapping my fingers! **Snaps fingers** I act like I'm soooooooo cool but I'm COMPLETELY USELESS when it's raining and I'm outside.

Roy-Hi I'm Edward Elric. My temper is almost as SHORT as me. To give you an idea of how TINY I am, let's do a little comparison game. If I were a planet I'd be Pluto! If I were a horse breed I'd be a Shetland pony! If I were a dog I'd be a Chihuahua!

**Both glare at each other**

Riza-Sometimes it feels like a married a child…and that just proves it. -_-;;;

Me-If you two are quite finished, I'll go on…

Plus, the shower chapter was originally "saucier" than what I wrote but then I decided that I didn't like it (It didn't go along with the story) so I wrote another one, the published one.

Fuery-Saucier? **Blush **Do I dare even find out?

Me-*Evil glint in my eyes and an evil smile to go along with them* Well, if you insist…

The original draft was that Havoc would offer to relieve Fuery's shyness of showering with others by showering with him. (How does that help? I don't know; that's why I changed it.)

Fuery-What?!

Me-Heh heh, yup!

During it, they both try to stay calm about the situation but both sneak occasional peaks. ;P (They also have to think of other things in order to, er, keep "it" down). At one point, Fuery catches Havoc looking at him. Havoc moves closer to him, so close that Fuery has to back up against the wall. He's about to confess his love to him when BAM!, in walks the Moment Killer, Roy Mustang! Fuery runs out, dresses, and leaves. Havoc is pissed.

Havoc- **Turns to Roy** Why must you always ruin every chance I have of a relationship?!

Roy-*Shrugs* it's just something I do.

Al-He doesn't even sound like he's ashamed of it…-_-;;;

Me-That wasn't the only thing I changed. There were some odd truth or dares too. Like, when was your first blowjob, or if I was your slave for a day what would you have me do? (My roommate suggested these)

Everyone except Envy-…0_0

Envy- For the BJ question, is it the first time you received or the first time you gave one?

Me-Well for a girl it's the first time you gave one, for a straight guy it's the first time you received one and for a gay guy it's however he wants to answer it.

Ed- You are a sick person!

Me-I know! ^-^ and I'm a virgin too but my mind is a sewer! =D

Ed-Why would you be proud of that?

Roy- Hey hey, I want Havoc to answer the second question and the "I" should be Fuery.

Havoc-*Looks at Fuery hungrily* =)

Fuery-*Blush* Wh…what would you have me do?

Havoc-For starters, I'd have you call me 'Master'. Then I guess I'd have you do my laundry and cook all my meals for me.

Fuery-Ok…

Havoc-And by nightfall I'd handcuff you to the bed and do ~very~ naughty things to you.

Fuery- Meep! 0//////0 Handcuffs?! But…but…

Havoc-Silence slave! Now do as you're told.

Fuery-*Gulp* Ye…yes Master.

Roy-Still here…

Havoc-Then leave.

Roy-You can't tell me what to do! I'm your superior!

Havoc-*Sighs* Fine.

Me-Let's see, what should we talk about next?

Riza-What's left?

Me-Hmmm…Oh! Scar and Lust live happily ever after.

Ed-Good to know…I think…

Me-And uh...that's about it. Thanks again to everyone who read, reviewed and favorited! 3 3 3 Now I can tell that every couple in here is going to be having some "fun" tonight. :)

Everyone except Al-*No longer listening to me since I said 'that's about it'.*

Envy-*Turns to Ed with a devilish grin*

Ed-*Looks right back at him with an equally devilish grin*

Roy-So, about that baby?

Riza-*Smile*

Havoc-*Pulls Fuery into a hug* Hey rabbit, how do you feel about handcuffs? =)

Fuery-*Blush* Oh my…we've never done this yet but…I'm up for it…

Al-Dear God the sexual tension in here is so thick you could cut it with a knife!

Me-I know, don't you love it?! ^w^

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

THE END!!!!


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